I’m Ophelia, and I’ve arrived precisely whenever this is! I’m a Doxie—tiny dragon-pixie, full of magic, mischief, and a deeply unstable relationship with time. I’m a student at the 🪄Business Witch Academy💸, but I also dabble in design, assist with magical logistics, and sometimes get caught in philosophical arguments with spreadsheets that try to bite me.
When I’m not knocking over ink bottles or having a deeply emotional revelation about kerning, I run Ophelia’s Bazaar, a swirling, glitter-swirled shop where I sell art forged in the fire of questionable decisions and entrepreneurial hope.
I write these stories because I believe business is just another kind of magic—and because Cheryl said I needed to stop monologuing at enchanted tea kettles in the middle of the chow hall and start processing my thoughts in writing. So here I am - covered in ink, missing a shoe, and somehow holding some else’s pen - where did my enchanted quill go? Welcome to the inside of my brain. Please watch your step. 🐾🌪️💸
Ohhh dear friend, prepare thine snack satchel and buckle thy existential seatbelt—because I, Ophelia the chronologically challenged dragon of glitter and wisdom, have returned from a soul-quest (or possibly a nap in a sunbeam, it’s hard to say) with revelations that smell faintly of wild thyme and lightly singed capitalism. 🌈✨🔥
🌀 I Thought I Had a Time Management Problem… Turns Out, I Had a Soul Problem.
It began, as these things often do, in the middle of something completely unrelated.
I was standing in line at the Potion Depot, trying to return a suspiciously sentient bottle of moonlight, when I overheard a time witch whisper:
"The future is a lie we tell ourselves to survive the present."
Well, I spiraled.
Of course! How could I have forgotten this? I've been spending too much time watching the human news and listening to human business podcasts. I've started to think of time a linear! 🐉💨 Ugh, just the phrase leaves a bad taste in my mouth!
Faster than you can say “handmade organic herbal profit margins,” I flashback-hopped through every timeline I’ve ever lived (and a few I maybe imagined), chasing this slippery, glitter-coated question:
If I had all the time in the world... would I still be spending it like this?
Because let’s be real:
I’ve been trying to hoard time the way a raccoon hoards shiny things. 🦝💎
Collecting it, tracking it, stuffing it into systems, routines, and Notion templates like I was saving for some magical “someday” when I’d finally be free.
Someday when my shop would run itself.
Someday when my to-do list was “done.”
Someday when I’d earned the right to rest.
But “someday” is a con. And I, of all mystical creatures, should know this! If I really wanted to be at tomorrow or 5 years from now, if I just think about it sideways, I'd be there already!
Someday is a glittery illusion.
A marshmallow mirage on the productivity desert. 🍬🏜️
And what is the point of being in today if all I'm ever thinking about it tomorrow?
So what did I do?
I rage-danced in a pile of unfinished task scrolls.
Then I made soup.
Then I time-ported into one of Cheryl’s soul-splitting Sunday letters and sat cross-legged on paragraph six until the words settled into my scales. And there it was, glowing:
"Wealth is control over your time, your energy, and your choices."
Y’all. Y’ALL.
Did you take the time to let that mic drop🎤 settle into your scales?
What if wealth was never about money at all?
What if true wealth is freedom from urgency?
What if the richest person in the forest is the one who has time to take a nap beneath a dandelion tree, or sing lullabies to their snail-familiar, or cancel three whole meetings just because they feel crunchy that day?
So now? I’m flipping the script.
❌ No more worshiping the Grind God.
✅ Yes to luxurious, irresponsible joy.
❌ No more saying “yes” to things just because they’re “good opportunities.”
✅ Yes to things that feed my soul like a magical three-course picnic in a library of clouds.
❌ No more “maybe someday.”
✅ Yes to right now, because time isn’t a thing I earn—it’s a thing I own.
Oh, and I made a little sign for myself. It says:
🖋️ “What if I didn’t have to earn rest?”
I taped it to the inside of my eyelids (metaphorically) and now I see it every time I close my eyes to sleep, instead of my eternal to-do list.
If time is your currency, what are you really buying?
Would your 8-year-old self be proud of what you’re spending your life on?
Would your 108-year-old self whisper, “Yes, darling. That was worth it”?
✨ Step into a world where time bends like a slinky, reality twists like a dragon’s tail, and imagination flows like enchanted rivers! 🌊🌀
I’m Ophelia 🌈, a magical time traveling Doxie, and proprietor of Ophelia's Bazaar.
🌠 Inspired by the wild and ever-changing landscapes of my adventures, I transform ordinary objects into magic-infused treasures for witches and other mystical folks who crave the extraordinary.
🧹Fly on over to 🦋 Bluesky if you’d like to interact in real time, hear about some of my smaller misadventures, and debate the sanity of our evil overlords (because overlords must be evil, it’s in the job description!)
🗺️ Want to join the adventure? Join me on my own Substack to hear about more of my adventures, see my latest art, browse the photos in my scrapbook, and be the first to know about new collections and product drops.
(With cookies. Always bring cookies.)
🕯️ Cheryl’s “Feeding the Time-Starved Soul” series is blowing the doors off the capitalistic illusion boardroom. (Catch Part 1 here and Part 2 here)
The third and final part drops next Tuesday. And yes, I’ll be there. Wrapped in a blanket of reclaimed time and probably sipping lavender tea from a mug that says “Don’t Rush Me, I’m Ancient.”
If you haven’t read Part 1 and 2 yet, you must. Your soul is waving a little flag that says “Pick me! I’m hungry!”
👉 Here’s the link to the full Magically Thriving Business Mindset series.
I've snagged a list of 10 more lies we entrepreneurs tell ourselves off of Cheryl's desk and smuggled it here for you, my adoring subscribers! If you haven’t yet signed up for my paid newsletter, what are you waiting for? These lies don’t tell themselves - oh, wait, maybe they do, but that’s the problem right? Anyway, you can buy it from Cheryl’s store (I’ve snagged you an awesome coupon so you can get dirt cheap), or if you’re my subscriber, scroll to the bottom of this message to snag it for free!
👉 Grab it now before Cheryl realizes what I've done and makes you pay more for it!
Ophelia 🌈
Chronologically Inconvenient | Resister of Hustle | CEO of the Anti-Urgent Club™
✨ "Time isn't running out. It's just waiting for you to notice it's yours." ✨
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