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Pride & Prejudice: Oops All Marys · Mar 12, 2025

Book Two, Chapter Seven

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Oops All Marys · Pride & Prejudice: Oops All Marys

Mary Elizabeth had dreaded the carriage ride to Rosings Park. Her forced physical intimacy with Mr. and Mrs. Collins was a discomfort she would not have wished on even the least beloved of her sisters (Mary Lydia). Happily, Sir William Lucas and Collins had enough conversational hot air between them to power a–an airship? Yes! A sky-faring ship, suspended by large, lighter-than-air balloons!⁶ The men’s animated speech covered a breadth of topics including horse breeding, English gardens, Lady Catherine’s strong legs, et cetera.

“I have heard it from none other than her Ladyship,” fawned Collins, “that, in her prime, she could clear a tall fence without so much as a running start. No hands, even.”

“By jove!” said Sir William, pleased.

Blissfully, Charlotte appeared to be absorbed enough in the gentlemen’s reparté as to allow Emmy the privacy of her thoughts. She sat marveling out the window as the carriage rocketed along at a dazzling 8 miles per hour. The landscape of Rosings was a blur of gorgeous color–roses, lilacs, tulips, begonias, palm trees, redwoods, and –queerly enough–bamboo studded the rolling green hills. Emmy would not have been surprised had a gardener revealed Rosings was growing a second sun upon a high vine. The sight of it all took Emmy’s breath (and food) away, as she covertly spit up on her own shoulder, soaking into fabric of the gown she borrowed from Charlotte. “Another sin to pray away!” Emmy thought in her trademark blend of guilt and glee.

“Everyone, shut up!” Collins commanded suddenly. “Shut up and look at this amazing house!”

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