Book Two, Chapter Five

The guests were ushered into the Parsonage, and everything that could be remarked upon was: the furnishings, sunlit windows, and of course smells were all met with approval.

“That chair,” Mr. Collins pointed out, “was the favourite of Sir Lewis de Bourgh, Lady Catherine’s late husband, and a man of terrific taste, especially when it came to seats and perches.”

“He died on it,” added Charlotte cheerfully, and Emmy marveled at how many hours Charlotte must have spent in the education of her furniture’s provenances.

Their tour continued, and every corner revealed another precious heirloom. There were:

Anne de Bourgh’s First Pacifier, melted down and recast into a single silver candlestick.

Charlotte’s collection of tsarist propaganda sat upon a paper-lined shelf– formerly a plank of wood Sir Lewis had nailed to his bedroom door to warn off his wife when he wasn’t in the mood for her “advances.”

Portraits of various members of the de Bourgh family, no longer deemed flattering enough to be displayed at Rosings Park.

And, Emmy observed, more.

Charlotte was well acquainted with the histories of each and every item. This made quite a favourable impression on Emmy, and she was relieved to discover that she felt perfectly at ease in Charlotte’s company. Moreover, she enjoyed seeing Charlotte thrive as the mistress of this household. Overcome with a sense of newfound delight at her friend’s domestic happiness, she took Charlotte’s hand once more and kissed it. “I am very happy for you, cousin. Very happy indeed.”

Charlotte smiled quizzically at this new form of address, but returned the sentiment genuinely. They ascended the wooden staircase (“from the very lumber of Rosings’s famous pigsty!), and the party assembled in a small but charming bedchamber. The room was well-appointed; modest but with any comfort Emmy could wish for.

“This shall be your room, my dear cousin,” said Collins. “You will find a Bible on the table beside your bed; I have outlined some passages in it I think you might particularly enjoy.”

Emmy smiled gratefully. “It is lovely. And quite clean” she said.

Mr. Collins nodded in gratitude. “I am glad it is to your liking, Mary Elizabeth. I insist on hoovering the floors with my very mouth.”

“What?”