my brain is waking from a deep, long slumber. consider this a place to stretch my synapses. I also have a silly lil <a href="https:/...
Boisterous theme songs to start the day; melancholy bedroom pop alone at under the moon. Solitude in the fog brings peace; laughter in the house brings joy. Overwhelm begets fear; hard work begets relief - but working too hard simply backfires thricefold. Rest is harder than any work. No good at this balancing act, but I keep getting back on the tightrope. Even worse at consistency, but I keep…
I am so sick of this simple light switch mind of mine. Tired of rushing from extreme to overcorrection. Bored of obsession but tortured without one. An urge to create closely followed by a need to destroy. Poems in tears and prose in blood; lifelong lifelines too easily forgotten when the rivers of wallowing run dry. But under the summer heat, those rancid papers full of rot and want always reek…
I’ve always been one to be easily annoyed. In fact, you could say it’s been a driving motivator in my life. At a young age, my mother told me not to complain about things that I couldn’t do better myself, so my cocky ass decided I would try to do anything that I felt was lacking in quality. This did serve the purpose of humbling me seeing as at the young age of 6 or so I, obviously, couldn’t do…
Today was tiring. I didn’t even do anything particularly strenuous, it was just an uncomfortable temperature and my cat decided to complain as much as I wished to. These two unideal conditions shouldn’t have been so bad, but after 5 hours of passive overstimulation, I’m drained. It’s hard to stay kind to myself sometimes. I feel like a sorry excuse of a human.
writers who follow the rules oft forget that breaking rules is itself a form of expression — sometimes more expressive than words themselves can be. a lack of capitalization could denote a quiet voice or a flippant attitude depending on the context. so-called Randomly Capitalized words are not a mistake nor are they random, but a curated choice to deviate from standard emphasis. a lack of…
For the past couple of years now, I’ve avoided the news. Don’t get me wrong, I stay informed in small doses, but for many years I was trying to maintain the level of activity many online do, and it was slowly destroying me. Fear is corrosive; no different than a poison, it wrought disaster wherever it touched. Constant stress will leave one ill like a pathogen — flesh tender and swollen with…
I’ve never been great at moderation. I tend to oscillate between extremes, in fact. Lately, those extremes have consumed my writing, from Writing is relaxing It helps me think This is a good habit to Who am I writing for Why should they care Am I full of myself etc. You know the drill. More recently, though, I’ve been wondering, does it really matter whether my writing is a pure creative outlet or…
The general response to confirming my health issues have been enlightening, for lack of a better word. I’ve found that many people simply never paid attention when things were bad — an impressive feat, considering how loudly miserable I was about my body as a child. After any trip, event, or outing I would always be exhausted and in pain. I wouldn’t leave my bed (or the couch) because after…
Last night, I slept for 10 hours. Not because I was hungover or sick or overworked, but because I was relieved, I think. For the past few months I’ve been bouncing between doctor calls, various labs, and sitting in limbo between. The longer silences in particular were brutal, feeding my hypochondriac habits. Fears of something serious festered — but were quickly brushed away as best I could,…
Offenses in order from most to least severe They are openly bigoted. They post about topics that you find triggering or deeply uncomfortable. They aren’t a bad person but they don’t understand social cues, and you don’t have the extra kindness to deal with their missteps productively. They have a profile picture that’s upsetting to you and you’d rather not see it. They just bother you for no…