The life-changing freedom of wearing what you love

As I was getting ready for an online yoga class last week, I looked down and knew I had to capture this moment.

My new pink floral leggings made me feel so happy and playful. Knowing I had gotten them at a deep discount was an added thrill. (I had to tell you that last part because, well, you can take the girl out of the Midwest, but you can’t take the Midwest out of the girl!)

But there was something else I was feeling, too: a mixture of grief and gratitude.

I thought about the years decades when I never would have worn something so bright and eye-catching and fitted, especially on my lower half. Yoga and other exercise always meant one thing for me: black leggings or joggers.

Diet culture doesn’t just tell us how to eat and how to move.

It also tells us how to dress.

What can we “pull off”? What could we never “get away with”?

We’re trained to seek out what is “flattering”—as if there’s something so inherently unacceptable about our body that we need to deploy visual tricks to create some kind of illusion. And the classic strategy for trying to look smaller or camouflage supposed flaws? Wear black.

I have nothing against wearing black, of course. There are lots of practical and aesthetic reasons to do so, and I still wear black clothes.

But here’s the thing:

I love bright colors and fun prints.

I feel happier and more like myself in them.

I used to deny myself that joy and ease. And what’s even sadder is that I didn’t even recognize I was making that sacrifice because it didn’t feel like I had a choice at all. I simply believed I couldn’t risk looking even slightly bigger than I actually was. And I couldn’t imagine drawing attention to areas I was taught to hide.

So never in a million years would I have thought of seeing my legs in loud pants (especially lying on the floor) and think, “I should take a picture—and put it on the internet!”

Below the paywall, you can hear more about why I did and how things I’ve learned might also improve your body image—and your kids’ body image, too.