“My daughter wants to wear a crop top, but she’s got a belly—what do I do?”

I’ve gotten several versions of the crop-top question over the years, and I understand the parents’ concerns. Your kid wants to wear the trendy fashion, but you’re worried about the social consequences of how their body could be criticized or sexualized—and how you might be judged as a parent.

Buying clothes for tweens can feel like such a fraught process for everyone involved. And while there is no one-size-fits-all approach (see what I did there?), I feel strongly about some core principles to consider if you want to support your child’s self-image.

I’ve been wanting to write a longer reported piece about this topic for a while, and I was thrilled I got the chance to do so, and that it was for Romper. (I was really proud of the story I did for them last year about “picky eating.”)

At Romper, they treat their freelance writers well, they make adorable animated art, and they let you use swear words! What’s not to love?

For this back-to-school article, I interviewed people with lots of knowledge about supporting positive body image: Dr. Charlotte Markey, Dacy Gillespie, and Zoë Bisbing.

“Listen, I wish I could have kept dressing my boys like little French children forever, but they wanted performance tees and sport shorts, so that’s what they wear.” —Dacy Gillespie

I also got to include a poignant story from a mom whose experience will resonate with a lot of parents. Apologies to my readers in the state of Georgia whose kids have already gone back to school—I promise there are some tips here you can apply year-round!

I hope you find some useful tips and relatable stories in the article. And let me know if you have any questions.

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I had originally planned to write about some anorexia myths this week, as the discourse around a certain pop star’s body has reached a fever pitch. I may try to publish it as a freelance piece, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, you might be interested in these:

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