Reading · On Fire · RSS Amplifier

Hi friends,

I have a friend who burned out at her job and took a sabbatical. Like most people who burn out, she assumed what she needed was rest. Less to do, more space in her days, more time to do nothing at all.

At first, it worked. Her days stopped being ruled by a to-do list. She woke up without an alarm for the first time in years.

But the exhaustion didn’t lift. No matter how much she slept, no matter how many guided meditations she ran or weekends she spent off her phone, the tiredness underneath it all stayed put.

So she tried the opposite. Instead of doing less, she started doing more — all the things she’d told herself she’d get to someday, if she ever had the time. She signed up for tennis lessons. She started taking voice lessons. She enrolled in a poetry class, and pulled together a group of friends to draw in the forest.

Slowly, she came back to life.

And here’s the surprising part: her days were fuller than they’d been in years — busier, even, than when she’d been working. But she had more energy, not less.

We tend to believe that when we’re tired, the answer is to subtract — fewer commitments, fewer plans, fewer demands. But often it’s the reverse. The thing that wears us out isn’t doing too much. It’s doing too little of what lights us up.

Here is a look at what is lighting me up this month:

Forty-nine Palms Oasis trail in Joshua Tree National Park. Spectacular views, barely any other humans compared to the rest of the park, and an actual oasis at the end. Just magical.
The Great Courses. How did I not discover these sooner? I am completely obsessed. I’ve been on a philosophy kick since finding them — so far this month, I’ve finished No Excuses: Existentialism and the Meaning of Life and Passions: Philosophy and the Intelligence of Emotions. I’m currently listening to The Will to Power: The Philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche.
How I Write, David Parell’s podcast with the living greats. Some recent guests include: Michael Pollan, Yann Martel, Steven Pressfield, Robert Greene, Anne Lamott, Lee Child, and Daniel Pink.

Fredrik Backman’s books. I started with My Friends a month and a half ago. It is now one of my favorite books of all time. I’m now on my seventh.
At the Existentialist Cafe: Freedom, Being, and Apricot Cocktails by Sarah Bakewell. This is a very entertaining book about all the characters of existentialism. I wish there were cafes nowadays where I could go and talk about philosophy (if you know of any, please reach out!).
Influence is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen by Zoe Chance. One thing I’m doing differently after reading this: asking more for what I want. What’s the worst that people will say — no?

As I mentioned, I’ve been obsessed with existentialism, and the basic premise — at least in Jean-Paul Sartre’s version — is that we create ourselves through our actions. There’s no fixed essence we’re handed at birth. We have radical freedom, which means radical responsibility: we shape who we are through our choices, our actions, what we decide to value. As Sartre put it: “Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” It’s a liberating idea and a brutal one.

When it comes to passion, this is the uncomfortable part. No one hands us our fire, and no one’s coming to keep it lit. We don’t get to blame a busy season, or the wrong city, or the years that got away from us. Whether we choose something and stay with it — that part’s on us.