Slightly less disappointing than it sounds
[The classiest wedding bet is on how long the marriage will last.] I’ve been quite horrified by the rapid spread of gambling in American society in recent years, but even still, betting on weddings seems like a tacky new low to me. Link: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/19/style/want-to-bet-on-my-wedding.html?unlocked_article_code=1.5VA.j-pJ.EJEYWbQKKIwV&smid=url-share
[“This…is Devlin St. John.”] Recently, comedian and TV host John Oliver has made guest appearances on two different soap operas . For his “Days of Our Lives” stint, he even brought his own wig, and it is magnificent: [ Photo credit: Days of Our Lives ] I like to think that if I were a celebrity, this is the kind of nonsense I’d get up to. Link:…
[Ah well. The price was right.] After running a 5K last week, I was pleased to receive an email letting me know I had complimentary race photos available. It read as follows: You crushed it at the Shoreline 5K! Your complimentary photos from MarathonFoto are ready to download and share. It was 85° and sunny at race time, and while I was happy to land in the top 100 out of 1500+ finishers, I…
[Chill out, orcas.] Humanity may deserve having killer whales sink our boats , but I don’t think sunfish deserve to be rammed so hard they explode . Link: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2026/jul/23/orcas-ramming-prey-hard-explodes-playing-game
[Getting rid of both ads and the structures they lived on is a real win.] Here’s a nice contrast against BMW’s recent misconduct . Since the mid-2010s, the French city of Grenoble has been working to reduce visual pollution by removing billboards and other needless advertising structures. It’s certainly nice to think of being less inundated with advertising. Link:…
[He has no malice in his heart.] I fear it’s been a bit of a negative week here on OFT, so let’s end it on a higher note. There’s good news, as all “ Chuck Norris Facts ” are now about this Chuck Norris . He is very clearly the superior specimen. Link: https://annekadet.substack.com/i/208672854/the-nicest-man-in-new-york
[🎶 Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man ad! 🎶] Surprise! You don’t really own your BMW . Link: https://www.techspot.com/news/113327-bmw-putting-spider-man-ads-dashboard-after-promising.html
[Christ, what assholes.] Thanks to the New York Times for alerting me to something more odious than a yacht: a yacht with a snow room . As the changing climate wreaks havoc on the four seasons, some people with means are fashioning their own. They are equipping their homes (and even their yachts) with indoor winter wonderlands, aided by companies like the Italian snowmaker TechnoAlpin, which…
[The “terrible twos” are different now.] Today, we have a terrible headline coming from Wildwood, New Jersey: “ Two-year-old boy overdoses on cocaine on the Jersey Shore ”. Fortunately, the child didn’t die. That’s good, but given that, the use of the word “overdose” there sort of implies there’s some quantity of cocaine that is the correct dose for a 2-year-old. Link:…
[They did say it’s hard to see, not hard to hear.] HOW WOULD ANYONE EVER BE ABLE TO TELL THAT THIS DRONE IS THERE? 1 Footnotes: Be sure to have your speakers on when watching the linked video . That video is also archived here . ︎ Link: https://www.techspot.com/news/113173-researchers-create-drone-becomes-almost-invisible-spinning-25.html
[In a modern takeover, the criminal is let in AND the owner is locked out.] As a pilot, Ryan Pettit understands that having a single point of failure in an aircraft would be a very bad thing. Through hard experience , he’s now preaching the perils of a single point of failure in digital systems as well. No aircraft I have ever flown is permitted a single point of failure: every critical system…
[Good for the Steiners.] Back in 2024, I wrote about the intimidation campaign eBay executives waged against David and Ina Steiner. The monstrous actions undertaken on behalf of eBay were unconscionable, and no one should go through what the Steiners went through. At the time, the company had to pay a $3 million fine, and at least one person was sentenced to jail time. Two and a half years later,…
[“He should never have been charged, let alone convicted.”] Now here’s a modern nightmare . Police were looking for a man using the Kik messaging service under the name “fus__ro_dah” (two underscores after “fus”), but they accidentally requested records for the username “fus_ro_dah” (one underscore after “fus”). As a result of that missing underscore, an innocent man who had absolutely nothing to…
[It is correct and right to kink-shame this.] Last week, Wired published an article with the headline “People Are Getting Off to Porn About ICE Raids”. I have not read this article. I do not intend to read this article. I’m not even going to include a link to this article. You can find it if you really want to, though I suggest you do not. I have skimmed the article just enough to determine that…
[A jail term for this might be excessive, though.] Today in ridiculous “What are you in for?” prison stories, the owner of a Michelin-starred restaurant in South Korea could face a year in jail for using ants as a garnish . Barvd . In its defence the restaurant owner argued that just 60% of diners had opted to try the ants, while the rest were served alternatives like fermented vinegar and edible…
[It’s a vile one.] Mitch McConnell is, purportedly, still alive. Given that, the Louisville Courier Journal has pre-published a scathing obituary , while no one can complain “How dare you write that about a dead guy?”. Link:…
[“Oops, I bought a very dumb house!”] Last year, I linked to an article on a $5.5 million Cape Cod mansion that was on the verge of tumbling into the ocean. Not long after, the house was demolished to prevent that fate. While the house is no longer extant, owner John G. Bonomi Jr. apparently still owes millions on his mortgage. Now, he’s suing JPMorgan Chase in an effort to nullify that contract.…
[The lawyers in particular have been busy.] I’ve recently received a higher than average number of dumb emails. Let’s talk about a few of them. Subject Lines From Dumb Emails I’ve Recently Received ***Attention requested, Paul: You re getting the latest about these scams Oh boy, hot scam news! And yes, those asterisks were in the subject line. Spring fun begins now, %%Informal Greeting%!…
[Gosh, that’s fast.] Back in March, Scottish runner Josh Kerr announced his intention to break the world record in the one mile, which had stood for more than a quarter-century. That record was set way back in 1999, in an entirely different millennium. It belonged to Hicham El Guerrouj, who ran an incredible 3:43.13. On Saturday, Kerr made good on his promise. Donning a bespoke speed suit and…
[Only time will tell.] Potential good news, everyone! It appears possible that when the sun exhausts its hydrogen fuel and expands into a red giant in about 5 billion years , Earth might not be swallowed up . Using updated models of how aging stars interact with their planets, researchers found that the gravitational forces drawing Earth toward the expanding sun are weaker than older models…
[The photographer sweated some blood about it.] This Sunday, soccer’s World Cup will end with world #1 Argentina facing off against #2 Spain. The day prior, #3 France will play #4 England in the third-place contest. Given how things wound up, it really seems like we could have skipped the 102 matches that preceded all this, but here we are. In that championship final, Argentina’s veteran superstar…
[Do lingonberries make good race fuel?] If running an entire marathon in an IKEA sounds like a good time to you, I regret to inform you that this weird event in Croyden, England has already filled its 80 open slots. For those who managed to get in to the December race, there will be no spectators, and the finisher medals will require assembly, but at least the aid station may have Swedish…
[What’s the point of great availability of a lousy product?] Once upon a time, fruits were seasonal. In 2026 America, however, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries are permanently available at grocery stores. That’s thanks in no small part to Driscoll’s, by far the biggest name in berries . In 1989, its board made what the company calls the Meadowood Declaration, a resolution…
[I m shocked, shocked to find that cats are being jerks.] A new study posits that sometimes cats groom each other specifically to be annoying . Link: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/10/science/cat-grooming-licking-research.html?unlocked_article_code=1.xlA.xSE3.n_lOcKj20IaR&smid=url-share
[Lindsey Graham was a JAG officer. Yup, a real jag-off.] Clarence Darrow (not Mark Twain) said “I have never killed anyone, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.” Anyhow, Lindsey Graham died on Saturday . Here are a couple of his best quotes. On Donald Trump in 2015 : If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed .and we will deserve it. On the January 6, 2021 attack on the…