BHIF: We Remember April 18th 1930...

Welcome to BHIF for Friday August 14th, 2026. Baruch Hashem (Thank God) It’s Friday is The Old Jewish Men weekly roundup where we get to all the crap that actually matters in the world. Obituary winners. Matchmaking. Market watch. Marketplace finds. Complaint of the week. Joke of the week. You get the picture. The sketch below is by Old Jewish Men’s house cartoonist, the always crotchety Australian boozehound, Dick Carroll

It’s

Who the hell wants to work?

when the streets smell like fish and diapers

Not me.

Not you.

And certainly Not our accounting department…

Marty Finkle , Hyman Gluck , Saul Schick.

Those guys are checked out.

None of them are at their desks.

So… why are we paying ‘em?

You know what?

Take him off the books RIGHT NOW. Golesky’s no good!

Never liked the guy!

no talent hack

Speaking of hacking.

Hopefully that dry cough Izzy was always complaining was just allergies…

Eh, life moves on…

Anyways,

It’s August and sometimes it’s good to take the foot off the gas…

from 15 MPH to 10

Because the second you stop working

The moment you say enough with the toiling

and quit your day job

to sit around eating waffles

Is when you drop dead.

that we know nothing about

As Old Jewish Men it’s our Job to work tirelessly until death.

Because this is what happens when nothing happens…

It’s hard to imagine a day without…Election meddling or strait of Hormuz negotiations and school shootings. No stock market crashes or car crashes or death by bacteria in fetid, still-water lakes. No sports game final scores, eating competition winners, Presidential tweets, senate runoffs, ballot box stuffing or assassinations. No tornados. No torpedos. No threat of the atom bomb. No torrential Rain. No obits. No sudden death. Nothing. No stagflation, no inflation, no plea bargains or court cases or plea deals. No death sentences or appeals and no class action suits or sales on suits or interest rate hikes. No nothing. A whole lot of nothing even just for one day. Nothing but a single radio voice declaring:

Jerry Seinfeld once said: It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper

→ Complaint of the week by our in house complaint queen, Leecy Davis.

I am not a fan of telling people to “smile,” but you don’t have to walk around like a miserable muppet 24/7. Met a neighbor (ew) and everytime I see this person it’s like they’re having the worst day of their life…everything about them screams misery, it’s honestly sad. But, worst of it, they make sure everyone around them knows their miserable. This is a thirty year old acting like an angsty teen - slumped over, huffing, a painful frown - I’ve never seen this person smile. You never know what’s happening in someone’s life, but it’s been two months of seeing them every day, and not one of those days have they ever seemed happy. I’d ask what’s the matter, but they make it clear they will not talk…all this to say, you don’t have to be smiley and happy-go-lucky all the time, but acting like a sullen teenager when you’re a grown adult with bills to pay is a BIT much…grow up, life is hard.

→ Joke of the Week (George Burns)

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close knit family in another city.

→ Wisdom of the Week (George Burns)

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair

→ Ask the (Eastern Standard Time) Rabbi

7:37pm: Shabbat begins ( not going to shul tn)

8:38pm: Shabbat ends (more lemon cake next time)