it's not that serious...
Dear Diary, Masamang balita. Si Temyong, natagpuang palutang-lutang sa lawa, wala nang buhay at putol pa ang dila. Malakas na naman ang mga bulung-bulungan. Sinong may sala? May kinalaman kaya? D'on sa, alam mo na. Hindi magandang bisyo yan Lena. Naka belo ka pa ng lagay na yan ah! At paanong hindi? Hanggang ngayon wala pa ring balita d'on sa babaeng taga Gulod na dal'wang buwan nang nawawala.…
Ayokong maging pananghalian lang Gilitan man ako't nakawan ng hasang, tapyasan ng buntot, tanggalan ng bituka't mga kalamnan Ako lang ang pipili ng huli kong hantungan. Malagutan man ng hininga Hindi 'to sa isang plastik na supot o sa panibagong sangkalan At lalong hindi sa inasinang tubig O sa kumukulong mantika. Mainit ang kalsada, maingay ang mga sasakyan, at masakit ang hampas ng semento sa…
Dear Artemio, Do you remember the night you sneaked into my room with your crusty old guitar because you just finished this song you were writing and couldn't wait for me to hear it? How I long for those nights. Do I ever cross your mind the way you constantly do mine? Save me, Temyong, for I am utterly, utterly terrified. In seven days I'm about to become somebody's trophy wife and I cannot bear…
I want to be able to speak up when something feels uncomfortable. I want to be able to tell you in all honesty that I'm really having a hard time right now and a time off doesn't even help me anymore. I want to tell you that life has been fucking us up in so many ways and sorry I can't talk at the moment (or most of the time) but sure, I'll listen. I want to say that I'm embarrassed of my feelings…
I remember turning 29 and being afraid of turning 30. Every year, I'd swear that I was at the exact same place where my mother left me. 18 and lost . A month after turning 23, my father died next and guess what. I was still there, except I was a few stumbles backwards. 18 and utterly terrified, lying on the ground face down and eating the dirt I was about to be buried in. I'm onto the second half…
We got closer as the days went on, and so did you and Apolonio. You had a lot more in common, him being son to Mayor Anacleto, the richest man in town. We would sit by the lake for hours, often with the sound of Apolonio's guitar strumming. We sang to the tune of our hopes and dreams, and even just momentarily, lulled our fears and worries to sleep. You said it was your lifelong ambition to be an…
Dear Diary, Isang buwan, tatlong linggo, at dalawang araw nang nawawala si Filomena. Samantalang si Temyong, hinahanap pa rin ng mga pulisya. Ilang gabi na ring laging may padasal sa kapilya, at no'ng nakaraan, may nagkatay pa ng manok na panghanda sana sa pista. Ilang alay at dasal pa ba? Pero alam mo, nanaginip na naman ako. Patay ang buwan at may mahabang prusisyon ng kababaihan sa tapat ng…
I've always had a huge fascination with sunrise but I swear on the earth where I came from, during that day, the blush and deep indigo sky stood average at your presence. I had just finished my morning coffee and went straight to your uncle's house to deliver some wood he commissioned me to chop. You were standing by the veranda, in that same contemplative state when I first met you. Crochet shawl…
I. Lemon Grass Blended Tea Some days you really feel like your heart is about to burst open in one big explosion of glitters, rainbow sprinkles and metallic confetti. It must be the roasted almond matcha. Or perhaps that rush when you meet your friends again for the first time in almost seven months. And then you come home and open your reddit feed to a video of F4 singing Meteor Rain at Taipei…
It's real, real strange how they say life begins at 40 and yet here I am at 48, drinking alone in my own little corner of the cabaret, my mind wandering to that summer of '65 where I was pretty sure I tasted life in full. I first saw you at this very spot where Alingawngaw would meet the lake, long before this town started to dance to jazz music, and even long before they learned how to gamble. I…