Republicans just lost what was once unlosable

After what feels like a lifetime, we finally have an opportunity to take the two biggest political lies of my life, drag them out behind the shed, bludgeon them with a shovel, dismember them with a weed whacker, then burn their remains in the ditch next to Cricket.

Two lies that—despite the best efforts of Reagan, George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, and Donald Trump—have persisted across four decades, defying all of the evidence and data that together articulate the truth.

The truth that, when it comes to the economy and national security, Democrats aren’t just better than Republicans. That’s far too simple.

It actually goes something like this:

1. Democratic socialists (since that’s the best description of FDR, and FDR rescued us from the Great Depression and won WWII), then

2. Democrats, then

3. The guys who ran Enron before the Great Recession, then

4. My son’s 3rd grade mock government project where they said free candy for everyone, then

5. About 600 feet of vacant vertical space, then

6. The Republican Party.

This has been the truth for almost 100 years, but now for the first time in 15 years, a majority of American voters see it clearly, and in a series of new public policy polls, rank Democrats above Republicans on both the economy and national security.

The fact is, Democrats ended the Great Depression. Democrats ended WWII. Democrats were set to end Vietnam, but Nixon sabotaged it to help his challenger campaign.

Bill Clinton started no major wars, gave us a booming economy and job market, and actually balanced the budget.

Barack Obama started no major wars, and he even got Osama bin Laden in the process (while ending Bush’s recession).

Joe Biden ended Trump’s pandemic, Trump’s pandemic-fueled inflation, and started no wars, while delivering more than 15 million new jobs over 4 years.

In fact, since 1989, Democratic presidents have delivered 50 times more new jobs than Republican presidents.

Tue brutal truth? Republicans fucking suck at managing the economy and at national security. Their entire cohesive “strategy” is to run up the debt buying missiles to bomb brown people.

And then Trump—the most Republican president in Republican history—cranked it up to 11, somehow figuring out a way to add $4 trillion to the debt, and run out of missiles bombing brown people, while losing American jobs; the unholy fucking trinity of failure.

They don’t understand technology or innovation. They actively despise science. They don’t understand the importance of the environment, and they loathe anyone who isn’t a straight white Christian man … even though they seem to simultaneously loathe themselves and each other at the same time, in that grindr breaks every time too many of them congeal in a single city over a short period of time.

Over the past century, these truths have become self-evident.

And now, thanks to Trump, everyone from Alpha to Gen Z to Millennial will be raised with a new default understanding: if you want a safe country with a booming economy, electing Republicans to leadership positions makes about as much sense as hiring Kristi Noem to run your local no-kill shelter.