A study was done in 1978. Two groups were compared. There were people who had won the lottery and people who had just had a life-changing accident which left them paraplegic. Within a couple of years, the lottery winners and newly paraplegic people had returned to their ‘base level’ happiness.
Sure, you’re elated when you win the lottery – but you’re still you, your disposition returns. Of course, you’re devastated when you become paralysed but you’re still you – your disposition returns. (In fact, the paraplegic group was actually very slightly happier. Obviously, the study is not telling us we don’t need our legs. Legs just make us less happy.)
People are awful at predicting what will make them happy in the long run. It’s called ‘affective/hedonic forecasting’, if you like looking things up. We get used to our circumstances pretty damn quick, so fantastic strokes of luck only make us short-term happy.
Robert A. Emmons wrote a book, Thanks!, on how gratitude can change your disposition. By merely spending time thinking about what you’re grateful for once a week, you can change your world.
Changing your disposition sounds impossible, but it really isn’t and, well, you’re the one that bought a self-help book. It’s easy to think of ourselves as a thing in the world, a solid-state item. But really, what is your personality made out of? Some beliefs, a couple of prejudices, accumulative actions and a few habits. All of those can be changed. How many do you think you have to change before you have a different outlook, before you become a different person? I’m not suggesting you can change everything overnight, but you’re a process and you’re not done yet (it’s the verb/noun thing again). None of us are.
I was once asked, ‘What have you got to be so happy about?’ What I should have said was, ‘Well, I’ve got a great attitude.’
What are you grateful for?
‘Never complain, never explain.’
Jimmy
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