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Bad things

I want something bad to happen to me. I don’t know why I feel this way. Ever since I was a kid, bad things happened to me. It seems like things have calmed down, and now, I almost beg for those bad experiences back. I feel completely uninteresting, like nothing that I do matters. I know how bad it sounds, but I almost yearn for the pity and the attention that I got whenever everything was bad. I…