The Little Bitch Prayer

Praying is rough sometimes. Well, at least for me.

“Sorry I have been such a little bitch lately God. Please help.”

This was the prayer that clawed its way to the surface the other day. Nothing added, that was all. I laughed later as I thought about it, but at the time it was the reflection of my spirit. Also, I apologize if my turn of phrase hits anyone the wrong way. To all the little bitches out there, it is just my way of saying a particular something.

If you have been reading with me for a while, you have come to understand most of my core language comes from a hockey locker room. This language is still the most authentic way for me to communicate when I am being honest. So out it flows.

But there are depths to admitting to God I have been behaving like a little bitch, at least in how I use the phrase. Rather than doing it myself, I have been letting my internal process to be controlled by outside factors.

In other words, I have been letting my relationship with the divine be complicated by shit. I mean, this shit matters to me, obviously, but in the end it is up to me to still do the work. Just like in any other part of life, I am responsible for how I grow and what I accomplish.

So I can go on being a little bitch—not praying when I do not feel like it, or not taking a few moments to center myself in my faith each day. I can allow these outside factors to fuck up my process.

OR!

Or, I can do what I know I am supposed to be doing. I can see some verses in my mind where Paul tosses around athletic imagery to drive home just such a point. I have goals, some just happen to be spiritual. Time to refocus and set my sights once again on that which lies ahead, letting nothing deter me from the path. I can use the same mindset in being a parent, a husband, in my running, or whatever else. Maybe you can too.

Don’t dismay, God is used to me being a little bitch. Maybe you sometimes too. But I think God is also used to me snapping out of it from time to time too. All parents understand such things of their children.

Romans 7:15 seems most reasonable for where Paul might have been troubled about his little bitch moments.

Sticking in Romans to make it easier on any of us looking it up, I skip only one chapter 8:38 for the reminder that even my being a little bitch cannot separate me from the love of God.

I hope you’re smiling. Go pray and be honest in how you do it!

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