You Deserve So Much Better

Look, I am obviously biased when it comes to television. I think television is the most wonderful thing ever. As Kenneth Ellen Parcell so succinctly put it in 30 Rock (my favorite show of all time):

And because I love everybody, and by everybody I mean you and I love television, and because I am deeply sad that CBS has decided to cancel The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, I want to say something to you. Yes, you. The person reading this. I only have about 100 followers on this, so chances are you are my wife or my mother or my wife’s mother. Hi! Love you! Okay, here’s what I want to say: when it comes to media and the way media is evolving you deserve SO much better.

Allow me to explain myself: television is dying. Not really. People still watch it, they just watch it differently than they used to before. Your dad loves Yellowstone, your mom loves K dramas on Netflix, your zoomer siblings watch 22-episode sitcoms like New Girl or Community on streaming. But somehow, the people who are paid to make decisions about what gets made have decided that what people really want is 10-episode seasons of a show about rich people behaving badly delivered every two years. As such, viewers aren’t consuming TV as much as they used to. And I don’t blame them. Every time House of the Dragon comes back I have to be like: shit, who are those characters? Why is the redheaded lady angry at the white hair lady? Why on earth has Matt Smith spent 6 episodes trapped in a spooky castle where nothing happens? So people turn to immediate media consumption: TikTok and Instagram Reels and YouTube. And trust me, there are more reasons why people are turning to these apps, but this is the one I want to talk about and it’s my Substack.

Execs have decided that if people are watching a TikToker who makes their content for what is cents on the dollar compared to producing a TV show or streaming series, then that’s fine. And look, I like TikTok and Reels. I enjoy YouTube! But they should be part of a balanced entertainment diet. You don’t want to be like the men who never read fiction and whose favorite books are things like “SWOLEtrepreneur: The Real Story of How I Maximized Capitalism for AI Success” or “The Secret But For MEN.” You need to read Chekhov or Emily Henry. In the same way, you can’t just watch Reels by men with big mics on their faces talking about immigration. You need to watch produced content like TV. Because as much as I am entertained by certain creators and influencers, what we lose when we only consume media created by and for these apps is expertise. While some creators are decidedly experts in the things they talk about (some I can list off my head are Dan McClellan and Jamelle Bouie) they are not experts at creating a show. That is fine for many of them (Bouie and McClellan included.) The problem is that there are many, many podcasters and influencers trying to copy the formats of TV without any of the expertise that comes with it. Sometimes it garners decent results like sketch comedians using YouTube and TikTok to create their own bits. But other times, and particularly when it comes to podcasters trying to talk about the news or current affairs, they are trying to imitate the tone and style of a late night show. As comedian Jay Jurden put it recently:

If late night is a dead model then why is every podcast trying to do the Lofi dirt cheap version of it? - Jay Jurden

And he’s right. If a podcast is where you listen to a comedian and his pals talk to his more interesting friends, I have news to break to you: Johnny Carson did that in the Tonight Show all the way back in 1962.

Seen here: Johnny Carson and I think Carrot Top? Idk some guy.

And this is where I think you all deserve better. Again, I am biased. I work for a late night show. But right now, you are being asked to choose between two things: a podcast of a dude just “riffin’ with his bros” with zero research, very little production value, and no hard jokes despite the fact that these hosts call themselves comedians (talking about how vibes aren’t jokes is a whole other subject that warrants another post) and a real show. You deserve a show. Every episode of every TV show is a miracle. Yes, it’s a work of art. Some good, some bad, whatever, art is subjective. But also a financial and entrepreneurial miracle. Every show is basically a mini company within a company, where a creator and a showrunner get together and handle hundreds of employees to make something. And when it comes to late night, it’s a little miracle that happens every day. Every late night show has writers, graphics people, researchers, talent bookers, a full unionized crew. It is better in every aspect than a podcast two guys in Austin put together. You are given a choice between a beautiful and delicious cake baked by 200 mostly unionized employees and a Twinkie. And it’s fine to like Twinkies, but it is insane to think you don’t deserve better than Twinkies.

So I just wanted to remind you that you do. You deserve better. And it pisses me off that the networks and the people who make television are just ceding ground to grown men with shitty haircuts and a RODE mic. You deserve late night even if you watch it on YouTube the day after and are thus contributing to its death (we just don’t make as much money on YouTube views, maybe DVR it? Do people still have DVRs? I don’t, man the networks should really rethink how to deliver this high quality product to people in a way that is monetizable instead of just cancelling shows!) You deserve better than crap AI YouTube videos of what the cast of Harry Potter would look like if they wore Balenciaga. You deserve television.

Ok that’s it for me. A reminder to buy my book because the show I’m working for will end in May and I need to become a millionaire through book sales now.

buy my book!