On spending your life somewhere only you know

There is a deer, breathing, in the middle of a field. This image does not merely exist as a figment of your imagination. It is not just some utopian place your mind wonders off to at any given moment. There are actual deer living in sunny fields the moment I am writing this, as well as the moment you are reading this. See, there is a difference between thinking about life and actually living.

The creature has a pulse. It is letting its four legs carry it through the field covered in wildflowers, while the sun warms up it’s fur. It exists entirely independent of you.

And I can’t help but wonder how much of our lives we spend imagining a world for the sake of feeling part of it, rather than being part of the one we do have.

On having a powerful imagination

Having a strong imagination, unfortunately, also means your mind has the power to take you to negative spaces. It is precisely because of this that I cannot stress the importance of actively existing in a world outside of the one only you know enough. When things seem dark, there is still something alive and beautiful existing entirely independent of you.

Something that doesn’t know it is supposed to be symbolic of a utopian world or represent some kind of unachievable reality which we can only visit in our minds.

Your mind has self-destructing tendencies

It is no surprise that humans are inherently selfish creatures.

I believe we have a habit to skim over how important the world outside of ourselves is.

Overthinking has a peculiar way of taking us somewhere only we know. We spend our time replaying conversations that are already over as well as predicting conversations that haven’t taken place at all. We reconstruct the past until it barely resembles what actually happened, then invent some future and worry about that too. We spend hours inside rooms that don’t exist, having conversations with people who aren’t there, solving problems that haven’t happened yet.

Imagination can be a beautiful thing

But while we spend our time worrying about a road kill fawn, there is a deer in the field. The sun is shining through your window. You can hear the laughter of a loved one pouring out of the room next to you. Your cup of tea is hot now but will get cold if you leave it untouched.

But your mind has taken you somewhere else. That’s the real downside of overthinking, isn’t it? Not that we are imaginative but that we miss what is actually happening while we’re busy thinking about what might be happening. We’re letting life pass us by and we’re too distracted to even notice.

We are so willing to overthink the painful things …

Why did they say that?

What if I made the wrong decision?

Am I sick?

Will someone die?

What if it all goes wrong?

What did they mean?

What should I have done differently?

Will I be able to buy a house? Land a job?

… that we forget we are able to give the beauty of life the same attention.

We don’t lie awake analysing the exact shade of pink the sky was that evening or replay the laughter a group of friends can only make when in each other’s company. We overthink the bad while we underthink the good. I very strongly believe we should try reversing that.

We should obsess over the sunset.

Revisit the good conversations.

Notice the warmth of someone’s hand when we shake it.

The tight grip of someone’s arms when we hug them.

We should let ourselves wonder why those seemingly small, unimportant moments make us feel infinite.

I don’t think hope is some delusional belief that everything will work out in the end. I believe hope is simply the willingness to notice what still is.

To look at the deer instead of imagining one.

To be in the field you’re actually standing in.

To stop spending your entire life going somewhere only you know, and spend it exactly where your feet are planted and where you want them to take you next instead.

I believe we should strive to become someone who lives more of the world worth thinking about.

Someone who can catch herself disappearing into her own head and gently pull back to the actual life happening before it becomes a memory. Who can turn thoughts and dreams into real life.

And I think a lot of us need that. Not another productivity hack or some five-step system for fixing ourselves, but something much more human and experimental. A little rebellion against the endless internal monologue if you will. 💌

💌: which brings me to the next thing..

I’ve been working on something. Something meant for us to step out of our heads and back into our lives. A little less living somewhere only we know.

Tell a friend to tell a friend, because if there is one thing you peeps have proven over and over again it is the strength of community.

I’ll be sharing more very soon, so stay tuned !!

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