Recently a friend of mine reported that his older son Christopher’s bike had been stolen from their front enclosed courtyard. Now mind you, they almost always have the front gate open, other than locking it overnight. I always thought that they were a bit lax about it and even mentioned it to my friend since bicycle thefts were the number one petty crime in Vietnam, although overall there is not much crime at all. We went back through his timetable of when he returned from dinner and the intervening hours before he locked the door and he concluded that someone must have come in during that time gap. “Bold,” he said, “for someone to do that with neighbors all around almost all the time.”
The next day he happily shared with me that Christopher’s bicycle was not actually stolen! It was “borrowed” by his younger brother to go to the store to pick up some things, and he had so much to carry he left the bicycle there and walked home.
And totally forgot about it.
During their conversations about the “not” stolen bike, the younger brother conveniently forgot to mention that he had taken it, since he had forgotten where he left it. They backtracked his route during the prior day and concluded that it must still be at the grocery store. And it was. The owner very kindly put it inside overnight since no one claimed it, and my friend and his boys happily went back to retrieve the bike.
And these things happen all the time, all over the world, in many countries we have lived in. Overall people are surprisingly and amazingly honest, and the number of times that a vendor has given me money back when I gave them too much to begin with, is too countless to remember. And I’m sure you have stories too.
I know there is an opposite side to that coin as well, and many merchant stalls and flea market type environments are conducive to ripping off foreigners, ie, tourists. Many restaurants have two different menus, one for locals, and one for foreigners, and it’s just a fact of life. In many countries I think the truth is that everyone struggles, so they take every available opportunity to try to recoup whatever they can.
The first time a business let me leave without paying my bill I was dumbfounded. It happened in Saranda, Albania on our first visit there when I had a dinner that totaled about $15. After the fact I realized that they did not take credit cards, and I did not have enough cash. “No worries my friend,” he said, “bring it by tomorrow, or the next.”
I looked at Kathleen and just went, “OMG that was new!” I did not get a chance to go by the next day, but I did the day after and gave the money to the father who owned the restaurant. He didn’t even know that I owed money and insisted that I sit down and have a beer with him! Friendship on top of generosity.
A few years ago we were in Sicily and took an overnight ferry to Tunisia, our first visit to Africa, and our first Muslim country. We got a cabin for ourselves, but the boat was totally packed with Tunisians returning home loaded with goods from Italy that they could not get in their home country. These people had very little money, so many of them slept in the hallways, on couches where they could find them, and outside. The decks looked like a campground, and we had them outside our doors too, making a bit too much noise for my sleeping habit, but it got quiet by a certain time. The next morning we walked out and there was a Muslim family of three sitting on the floor having breakfast. They gave us a smile and a hello which we returned, and spoke enough English to ask about us, and insisted that we join them for breakfast. This husband, wife, and solo child had very little, yet they were willing to share it with a stranger there in the hallway. We were touched, but declined.
The Dual Menus of Survival
Of course, I am not naive enough to believe the world is entirely populated by saints. And we had a MAJOR awakening in May 2025, when our rented BMW GS750 motorcycle was stolen in Sicily on day 43 of a five month planned ride through Europe.
Looking Home
Reflecting on these global experiences, I don’t want to sound cynical or jaded about my home country of America. We have mostly honest, kind, and generous people living in the United States who would gladly give you the shirt off their back. However, looking at the contrast between the communal trust I’ve experienced abroad and the hyper-individualistic caution back home, it becomes clear that human nature is deeply influenced by circumstance. Throughout history, every society has had those who choose to take advantage of others. But when economic times get tough, it seems to exasperate that negative drive, causing people to close their doors, lock their gates, and view their neighbors with suspicion.
As a Baby Boomer who was born in the 50s, experienced childhood in the 60s, and puberty and young adulthood in the 70s, I don’t think I have rose-colored glasses on, but I THINK people overall were more honest then. More connected. Communal. Neighborhoods in many cases brought closeness and friendship, and people watched out for each other. I believe a lot of that in the US changed in the 80s when computers went from being a novelty to becoming a household helper. Businesses embraced them, personal relationships started to suffer, and by the time the nineties came along with the Internet, it went downhill from there.
Much of the rest of the world followed but at a much slower pace- first world countries excluded. In Europe many countries learned and followed “The American Way,” for better or for worse. Many of the countries we have visited and loved, from the Balkans to Southeast Asia, were struggling for survival and identity for decades, and even though crime certainly existed, it was more a matter of survival.
When we went to Tunisia on our first visit to Africa and our first Muslim country, Kathleen felt a bit out of place primarily because she dressed in “western attire,” complete with brighter colors than Tunisians were used to. Our preconception of what a Muslim country might be like was dashed by friendly, polite, respectful people—especially the younger ones. That trend continued in Turkiye, where we lived for nine months and got residency, and never feared walking the streets late at night. And last—Albania—which many people (us included back in the day) thought was a Dangerous Place, was far from it. Irony on irony, many foreigners are afraid to visit the US because of gun violence! Mass Shootings are definitely an American thing, though sadly being exported by vicious people.
Too many movies, too many TV shows about Muslim terrorists and Albanian gangsters. It is such a shame that civilization has been brainwashed by media and false impressions.
What Christopher’s “stolen” bike, the Albanian restaurateur, and the Tunisian family taught me is that trust is a choice. Often, the people who have the least are the ones who understand most deeply that we are all we have, and we are all connected. Human honesty isn’t dead; sometimes, you just have to travel a few thousand miles outside your comfort zone to find it waiting for you outside a grocery store or on the floor of a ferry boat.
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The eBook of “Nomadic Life for All Ages,” and my most recent addition on northern Greece, called, “The History and Magic of Northern Greece.”
Nomadic Life shares our story from Day One, as we prepared to leave the US after six decades of living there, sell everything, and say goodbye to friends and family. The departure involves so much more than just getting on a plane, and the emotional, mental, spiritual, and financial aspects are all covered. The book offers tips and hints, and guidance on how to travel within Europe, deal with the nefarious “Schengen Zone,” along with lots of shortcuts and time savers. We spent time on six continents, so except for the Poles, we have you covered!
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Over the past few years I have also written several other books and you will get a free copy of two of them!
One is called “COVIDstories,” and it shares the journey of 19 people who benefited from that once in a lifetime pandemic. Even though COVID virtually shut down the globe, almost destroyed the world of travel, and did personal damage to so many, the unfortunate event actually helped some people adapt, grow, and change for the better. I am one of the 19.
Book number two is a fantasy fiction book called “The World Series of Oz,” and that story was inspired by a dream that woke me and I turned into a novella. If you are a fan of The Wizard of Oz, baseball, or both, I think you’ll enjoy it. If that doesn’t interest you, I also offer a more sci-fi type novella called “Alien Gifts,” about a young man, Sammy, who is given three different superpowers over three years, from his former best friend. Who happens to be an alien. That story came out a conversation I had with Kat about, “What super powers would you like the most?” and you can get a copy of that one instead. Here’s some more details.
Would you like to know HOW to Manifest Your Travel Dreams?
Then you can join me in my one hour webinar with that title as I walk through some of the processes involved when contemplating a nomadic lifestyle. This webinar was first presented in 2019, but SOOO much has changed and it is now fully updated.
Going somewhere?
How about… a 10 day small yacht cruise off the coast of Croatia, leaving from Split, going south to Dubrovnik? Or maybe a motorcycle tour of some of the most magnificent countries I have ridden: Romania? Vietnam? Ecuador? I have traveled all three, but also have Sri Lanka and Nepal available through close connections. Maybe you’d like some adventure on a 10 day safari along the plains of Tanzania?
What’s your fantasy trip??
These tours will be offered to you at seriously great prices in a few months, and will be limited to small groups of 10 or less. Please take a moment to tell us which one you like the most!
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