Monthly Reset and Reflection with Nora and Eliott

Oh, what a month! I always seem to start like this, but I don’t mind, because all these “What a months" actually mean a "What a life!" I don’t think I could aim for more.

This month began with an UNMUTED event, where AI was on trial. As a Medical Foresight PhD candidate, I study healthcare professionals’ fears about medical AI and how to address them. I believe clear regulation is key to trust and reducing uncertainty. However, the proposal -S7263- discussed that day seems overly strict. While regulation can boost clinicians’ confidence in AI, excessive restrictions could deny needed support to those who need it most. Full respect for the compassionate argument for Dr. Cecilia Dones, but I have to fully agree with her opponent, Satees Nori this time. (Fun fact, the informal nickname for Nora in Hungarian is Nori, my friends call me like that back at home)

The highlight of the month was definitely my father’s visit. It was completely unplanned; I was feeling lonely and sharing my hardships with him, so he asked if he should come next week, and I eagerly agreed. This was his third visit, but I believe it was his favorite, especially because I kept it simple and didn’t overload it with activities like I usually do. I found a surprisingly cheap plane ticket for him and booked it without hesitation, only to discover that even carry-on costs extra, not to mention the checked baggage. Eventually, it cost far more than choosing a regular company would have. Lesson learned, but I finally get to wear my own clothes since he brought me another 23 kilos of my belongings from home. It also means I've officially outgrown my Brooklyn studio apartment; literally, I have no more space. At this point, I'm one new sweater away from having to move.

You can see what he brought from Hungary, mostly for my Hungarian friends here. I don’t cook, so the paprika went to friends and CarGuy. I don’t like this famous Hungarian chocolate, Sport szelet, but all the Neocitran is for me because, guys, your flu medication doesn’t work, like, at all. Sorry to say that, but I don’t know how you manage illness with your Sudafed PE and stuff like that. I really thought Europe was the one that overregulates everything. He also gave me two copies of my latest Hungarian-language book, so I finally got to smell them. They passed my good book smell test. :-)

My dad and I visited various places like pizzerias, beer bars, the Smalls Jazz Club, and even entered the Statue of Liberty, which I didn't mind seeing for the third time in a year, lol. We caught up with friends and had a fantastic time, enjoying plenty of food and sampling different beers, with the consensus that the best one was the one CarGuy brought from Ohio. I’m proud to share that after a year and a half of sleeping on a flimsy dog-sofa, I now have a proper bed. CarGuy and my dad built it together, showing that language barriers can't stop the creation of something beautiful lol. I truly enjoyed having almost all my boys together—Eliott, Dad, and CarGuy. I only missed Beni, my son AF.

Usually I’m very emotional after my dad leaves, questioning all my decisions and dealing with serious Europe-sickness (I can’t really call it homesickness, though), but this time it was a bit easier because we went to New Jersey right after, and Eliott got to experience a slower rhythm of life again with deer and rabbits and large green areas. I think he enjoyed the trip more than any of us did. I’m really sad I can’t provide this to him in New York. As I wrote in my previous article, I’m not sure where our future will evolve from the 4 possible places I mentioned, but what is for sure is that it won’t be this part of Brooklyn where we live now.

Next month, we plan to visit Ohio, and I’ll update you on how we enjoyed our time there. We're skipping the 4th of July fireworks because Eliott developed an intense fear of loud noises, which makes our NYC life even more difficult. Additionally, Ellise would turn 2 that day, and I can't face that day alone. I’m so grateful I don’t have to. It has been over 9 months since she passed away, but the pain hasn't eased. I believe the saying “time heals” is the biggest fucking lie ever; some losses cannot be recovered from.

For the first time in a long while, I caught myself looking at puppies. I’m not ready yet. Deep down, I still catch myself wishing every little face were Ellise’s, and that wouldn’t be fair to a new puppy, because she deserves to be loved for who she is, not for who she reminds me of. But I know one day another little soul will find her way into my life. I made Eliott a promise that one day, he’ll have a baby sister. Now I feel I have 3 Aussie Shepherds: one is here with me, one is in Heaven, and one is somewhere on her way to me.

Ellise, Eliott and Eliana. My 3 Eli forever.

I loved New Jersey; I loved to be able to breathe a bit, but then I returned to New York to be a social butterfly for a weekend. You know, when you cross an ocean and start a new life on the other side of the world, people often assume that every fellow Hungarian you meet automatically becomes part of your circle. I don’t work that way. I’ve quickly distanced myself from plenty of compatriots I met in NYC whose only common ground with me was knowing who Pumukli was and putting Erős Pista on every meal. Common culture is important, but it’s not everything. But these people…

No matter where life took us, no matter what country we met in, I would choose them as friends everywhere, always. We found this wonderful, European-style spot in Queens, and for a few hours, it felt like this concrete jungle around us became a little smaller, but a lot warmer. The next day, I celebrated the birthday of a new friend, BreAnna, with a breathtaking sunset over the city.

I attended the Write About Now Poetry event, which I really enjoyed. I also participated in a 'Finding Your Inner Home' workshop for expats, met my NYC best friend to watch football, and saw 'Harry Potter and the Cursed Child' on Broadway—one of the best shows I've seen here so far. Since I love theater and go often, it really means something. It resembled Hungarian-style theater with many monologues, a compelling story, and little music or dance. The show was also very touching, exploring the challenging friendship between Harry Potter’s and Draco Malfoy's sons. I highly recommend it. Went to a Comedy Show- never enough of that- and finally I got to see the amazing Carnegie Hall. I worked and wrote a lot outside in parks to enjoy Summer in the city; my absolute favorite is still Bryant Park.

Academically, I submitted another article and would like to request that JMIR Medical Education expedite the peer review, please, as they currently have two of my papers pending and a third is already in progress. I enjoyed a productive month and kept my rhythm. I also met the deadline for a new book in Hungary; I just sent it to my publisher. Stay tuned — from the “finished” stage, it still takes months before it’s officially published.

My Substack publication, Nora in New York, was rising multiple times in June. I’m truly proud of the community I've built here in less than a year. Speaking of community, I was invited to be the Cultural Curator at the social club I belong to. It’s quite surreal, given that I used to be extremely socially anxious. Now, I’m the person they trust to help others feel at ease and foster connections. Life really has a sense of humor sometimes. What is not funny is that I went to a tarot reading in Jersey, and they told me I will do good to the world but will die early, at the age of 42. It’s concerning because it’s the second psychic who predicted this outcome, so even tho I’m not at all a believer in this kind of spiritual stuff, I still decided to take care of myself a bit more and try to improve my sleep again.

It’s now official: The doctoral school contacted me to confirm that I completed the four-year PhD program in only 2.5 years. From this point forward, there are no additional courses, credits, or papers—my sole focus is on writing my dissertation. I began working on it last weekend. The outline is in place, and the narrative has been developing for quite some time. Now, it's about bringing it all to life.

I always imagined this much fancier, but it seems this is how the transformation of medicine and healthcare begins: not in a futuristic laboratory, not at a global summit, but in a tiny vegan pizza place in New York City, with a glass of Diet Coke next to a notebook full of ideas, mundane as it is.

Series of the month: Search Party on Netflix

Song of the month: Little girl gone from Chinchilla

New stuff of the month: just launched my new service, the Pick my Brain sessions. You are more than welcome to book one, or, if you decide to join us as a Founding Member on Substack, you have it for free.

Eliott could use a treat. You can buy him one here. He says hi and offers a body slam in return.