hi, i'm Nadine! looking for a home where i can write and create more openly without the sense of urgency & noise other platforms tend to have. ty for b...
I can happily report that I am on Day 12 of The Artist's Way, keeping up with my morning pages, although I still need to go on Week 2's artist date. I'm honestly very, very tired though. Writing in these morning pages is revealing how truly exhausted I am and that trying to hold onto some semblance of daily practice is rewarding, but I really just need rest. I don't even know what the point of me…
Another post on Bear so soon, look at me go! I started The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron today, and I'm not sure what to expect. I hope for artistic development, confidence, and clarity on what I'm supposed to be creating with my one grand life. Plenty of people report great results, but just as many "DNF" and dislike the religious and privileged references/takes. I'm on the side of take what…
How do you not doubt what you write? As soon as you put it onto the page, it's permanent. But not. It's just a permanent reflection of a transient state, but does the reader always give you that grace? Does it matter? Yes. No. I don't know. And so us writers chug along to chisel out what we mean. Sometimes not knowing exactly what we even mean to say. But upon editing, we know we definitely don't…
Hello friends! This blog here, the very one you're reading, well, she's one year old! cue flying confetti and bell ringing noises Technically, she's a year and 5 days old, but I'm sure she doesn't know the difference. This is my first blog post of the year. I haven't had the courage nor the urge to write publicly in the past 4 months. I've popped in and lurked around the discovery feed, toasting…
my desk is awry with pens, markers, highlighters, stickers, all scattered about. i have 5 journals on my desk, each serving a different purpose, and somehow only 1 book (which typically has at least 3!). while i have no place for my arms to rest, here i am, typing away on top of the pens slipping and sliding beneath them as i share what's on my mind. or my heart. just being present. i feel this…
I'm afraid I still can't decide where I want my words to live. So I scatter them amongst here and there, and from this blog to that small web blog, to semi-obscure to even more obscure -- what is the point? Will I ever get to the point? I guess there is no point besides to write and express and follow the heart's lead on this one. Why do I feel the need to have anything logical, polished, or even…
Yesterday, there were no words to write. Instead, all the emotions came violently to the surface. I cracked. Between mournful wails and squeezing tightly into fetal position, the unspoken hurt and the raw desperation spilled out of me like an endless faucet. A lifetime of pain carried finally giving way, like an avalanche. Sudden, all-encompassing, an impossible force of nature. It only took me…
I'm back to the writing page early in the day. It's 7:29 AM and while my sleep hasn't regulated yet (grief insomnia and jetlag things), I welcome a routine of early mornings. (I've naturally been a night owl, so waking up before sunrise without an alarm has been a mighty change). I started reading the book Greatest Forgiveness by Dr. & Master Zhi Gang Sha -- peering into how forgiveness can help…
I think I'm reaching the point of breakdown. Not to sound dramatic or unhinged, but I mean this in a "reaching the point of dgaf and ultimate surrender" because I don't have the energy to maintain the same old habits of smiling through the pain and "keep on carrying on" mentality. I've held myself together for so long that putting on a brave face in the midst of horrors and traumas felt like the…
It's a new week, and I feel compelled to be more social. To brave the outside world again. To make plans with friends and receive support. I'm open to receiving all types of support right now. I still can't believe my dad's gone. His sudden death has been hard to reckon with. What could have been done to avoid this result? I know it doesn't matter. But my brain seeks solutions anyways. So for now,…