Movie Reviews
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Read 6 days ago and current, but nothing has been published for 12 months.
Bereavement opens with serial killer Graham Sutter (Brett Rickaby) kidnapping six-year-old Martin Bristol (Chase Pechacek). Martin has CIPA (congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis). The movie quickly establishes how “dangerous” this condition is — “He could bite his own tongue off. He could break a bone and keep on playing … He has to be... Continue Reading →
Devil’s Whisper (2017) director Adam Ripp watched The Exorcist and thought, “That movie needs more streetlamp.” I get it. It’s an iconic shot. But it’s just one shot. And Billy Friedkin didn’t shove the streetlamp down our throats. The streetlamp is but an element in a flawless composition (inspired by René Magritte’s Empire of Light).... Continue Reading →
What’s more insensitive? An adaptation of Wilhelm Tell without Indians, or one without Swiss and Austrians? Friedrich Schiller’s 1804 drama centers on the Swiss struggle for independence from the Habsburg Empire in the early 14th century. William Tell (2024) turns it into a mostly English affair (because who knows more about fighting imperialism than the... Continue Reading →
At the start of Temple Grandin the title character (Claire Danes) tells us, “I’m not like other people. I think in pictures and I connect them.” I’m having a hard time imagining what that means and in what way it differs from how most people think, and the movie doesn’t help. In fact, it does... Continue Reading →
Hostile Takeover follows Pete (Michael Jai White), a “workaholic” hitman. On paper, that means he’s addicted to murder. This reminds me of one of the Zodiac letters: “I like killing people because it is so much fun,” which speaks to a thrill-killer’s desire for power and fame. The Zodiac wanted to be known and feared.... Continue Reading →
Ebony and Ivory (2024) stars two creeps pretending to be Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder in 1981, even though they appear to be older than McCartney and Wonder are today. In fact, they look, sound, act, and feel nothing like the two musicians. I know Ebony and Ivory is supposed to be some sort of... Continue Reading →
Remember Alan Alda in Crimes and Misdemeanors? 15 Days (2025), set during the COVID-19 pandemic but shot five years after the fact, has “Comedy is tragedy plus time” written all over it. Alda’s line was never meant as scriptwriting gold. It was designed to make the speaker sound like an asshole: slick, self-congratulatory pseudo-wisdom from... Continue Reading →
The Intruders (2015) stars petite, sexy Miranda Cosgrove. Coincidentally, some of its plot points seem recycled from old iCarly episodes. For example, the time Carly, Freddie, and Sam host their show from a supposedly haunted apartment, where strange incidents occur but have reasonable explanations. Or when Spencer encounters a mysterious little girl who follows him... Continue Reading →
My Oxford Year follows Anna De La Vega (Sophia Carson), an American who graduated summa cum laude, landed a Wall Street job, and deferred it to spend a year studying Victorian poetry at Oxford. Anna must be something else if Goldman Sachs is willing to save her a spot while she takes a sabbatical. Unfortunately,... Continue Reading →
The Old Guard was a blatant Highlander ripoff, so it’s fitting that the sequel is this franchise’s The Quickening — a dimwitted, unnecessary, inexplicable mess that treats immortality like a driver’s license: you can drive a car without it, and as long as you don’t get pulled over, nobody’ll know the difference. Like its predecessor,... Continue Reading →
