Hello my sweet readers. I hope you’re having a wonderful week. I hope your dreams are coming true, I hope your crush texts you back, I hope your fruit is perfectly ripe.
This year has been a big investment year for me. By that I mean I’ve spent all of my money on projects I’m independently financing and releasing - including my debut standup special which releases on Youtube at the end of the month.
I toured my standup hour for 3 years, spanning over 90 headlining shows and was feeling ready to tape my special. I talked to my reps about getting in front of Netflix and HBO to see if they were interested in buying and producing it. The response I got was lukewarm. The exact answer was maybe, but reading between the lines I could tell there was trepidation. Either they didn’t want to tell me it was completely out of the cards or they were afraid to ask these streamers on my behalf. The other routes available to the modern standup are to tape a special that is up to Netflix/HBO quality (ie camera and sound quality) and sell it to them after its already taped. This is an expensive and predatory process as most standups cannot afford to do this nor should we have to pay to play. The other available route is self financing and releasing on Youtube. This is still expensive but less expensive as you don’t have to shoot it up to the TV/streaming standards.
The reality is the only way to make money as a standup is touring. Specials are an amazing marker of a chapter in your standup career, but they are not money making ventures. Their best monetary value is in promoting your next tour dates. To that end, I knew I was ready to tape my hour and I knew I wanted to go back on the road this fall and could not return with the same material. It was time and I was just going to bite the bullet and do it myself.
Here are some of my highs and lows of doing it yourself:
The Highs
DECISION MAKING. When you’re paying for the project, everything is your decision. The upside to having other people finance your work is you don’t have to pay for it, but the downside is the people paying often have opinions they want heard. When you pay for your own projects, every decision is yours to make. From the creative, to the hiring, to the release timeline. You are the decision maker.
OWNERSHIP. Making something independent with your own money means you get to own the rights to it. If it goes on your Youtube channel or socials or website, its yours and yours alone. You’ll never have to worry about it being pulled down off a streamer because they decided to clear house on a random Thursday.
COMMUNITY. This is by far the best part of making your own shit. You decide who gets to work on it with you. Let’s say you’re lucky enough to get tapped for a Netflix or HBO comedy special. The executives at that company are going to brainstorm a list of production companies and directors for you to work with. Maybe you already have a director in mind, maybe they’ll just give you the guy who does all the mainstream comedy specials. Regardless, you’ll be on set for the biggest night of your young life with a bunch of people you don’t know and who don’t know you. Because I independently financed my standup special, I chose who I worked with. I hired every single position and was at least familiar with everyone on set that day. I hired trans people, I hired young people, I hired people who WANTED TO BE THERE and were proud to be a part of the special taping.
LEARNING. This is the most valuable part of making your own stuff. When we made BOYS CLUB last year, I wrote, acted, produced and edited. I saw the show from its incipience to the finish line. I was in every phase of the process and each phase taught me more about the last. We rewrote portions of the season 1 finale after having shot the other episodes because editing taught us about how to write with the edit in mind. You can’t learn those lessons from your desk. You can only learn those lessons from making something from start to finish. I want to make narrative comedy projects and I don’t want to wait until I’m at the helm of a massive budget or in a writer’s room with a bunch of people I respect to learn how to do this. I want to learn now. I want to try and fail in the obscurity of my independent work.
The Lows
COST. You don’t envy my bank account at the moment, I promise you that. It is very expensive to film anything. Its gotten cheaper in some ways and in others its gotten worse. For example, thanks to AI and data centers, the chips in hard drives have gotten super expensive and the price of hard drives to store footage has gone up 400% in the last year. My special cost around $8k to film, with very kind “favor” rates for labor in every position. I made nearly $4k in ticket sales for the shows which cut my personal cost down significantly. Nonetheless, that’s still a sizable amount of money. I don’t have the money to pay anyone for post production services so I am editing it myself alongside my director Shiv who is doing so as a favor to me. My producer Vic has a color house connection for color grade and my sound engineer is willing to do a sound mix for free. If I had to pay for editing and post production assets, it would add at least another $3k to the budget if not more.
The upside to working with Netflix or HBO is also their marketing budget. The benefit to the internet is we all can do some marketing ourselves, but as we all know, the internet is becoming more of a pay to play slot machine every day. If you want to grease the wheels of the algorithm, you have to be posting constantly. Netflix and HBO have the gravitas and PR connects to secure high level interviews and podcast appearances, while doing so alone means reaching out to anyone you know with a podcast asking to come on to promote your work.
SOLITUDE. While there is freedom and agency in embarking on your own, there is also great solitude. I’ve been fighting the feeling of solitude all year. Yes I’m the only decision maker, but I’m the ONLY decision maker. I don’t have the head of Netflix telling me this is a great special. I don’t have the HBO execs telling me this is the beginning of a long friendship between me and the streamer. I don’t have a financier who is willing to dole out extra cash to make sure it reaches everyone who wants to see it. Its just me. Its just me, the 24 hours I have in each day and the willpower to make something I believe in.
My biggest take away is DO IT. Make your own shit. The cavalry isn’t coming. The network executive who believes in you isn’t coming. They probably just got fired from Peacock and is on their way to FX where they’ll continue to make safe decisions and get fired again. Identify the budget you can work with and write something you can afford to make. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask people to work with you for free. If you make something cool, if you respect their time, if you give them the opportunity to make something they want to make, people will willingly join your band of misfit artists.
The future is independent! Go make it yourself!
NEW MATERIAL TOUR FALL 2026
8/21 - NICO AND FRIENDS IN BROOKLYN
12/3 - RALEIGH, NC (FYI THESE ARE BEING MOVED TO APRIL 2027)
12/4 - RALEIGH, NC (FYI THESE ARE BEING MOVED TO APRIL 2027)
12/5 - RALEIGH NC (FYI THESE ARE BEING MOVED TO APRIL 2027)
12/6 - CHARLOTTE, NC (FYI THESE ARE BEING MOVED TO APRIL 2027)
North Carolina dates being moved because I’m going to a friend’s wedding :)
As always, if ticket price is a barrier to entry for you (especially if you are trans) please fill out this form and I will do my best to get you in! Comp tickets are first come first serve and can be limited depending on the venue.
Last but not least, watch BOYS CLUB! All five episodes of season 1 are out now on Youtube and you could watch all five in about 30 minutes. Perfect for your lunch break.
NICO’S JULY BOOKSHELF:
Let Us Play: Winning the Battle for Gender Diverse Athletes by Harrison Browne and Rachel Browne. BUMPING THIS AGAIN. Great resource that gets further into the myths around gender and sports.
Take Back the Game: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids’ Sports and Why it Matters by Linda Flanagan. This book is another great resource to unpack some of the larger issues with youth sports beyond gender.
NICO’S JUNE BOOKSHELF:
Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves by Sophie Gilbert.
The Candy House by Jennifer Eagan.
NICO’S MAY BOOKSHELF:
This month has been going so fast I don’t even remember which of those books I read in May. IF ANY! Thank you for all the recs, they’re going on my list. I’m recommending a TV show today:
Widow’s Bay on Apple TV - This is a comedy horror its super funny and scary! Really enjoying this. First four are already out and the last two come out tonight 5/27!
NICO’S APRIL BOOKSHELF:
Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves by Sophie Gilbert.
Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk.
Let Us Play: Winning the Battle for Gender Diverse Athletes by Harrison Browne and Rachel Browne.
Valencia by Michelle Tea.
NICO’S MARCH BOOKSHELF:
Heart the Lover by Lily King.
The Secret History by Donna Tartt.
The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin.
NICO’S FEBRUARY BOOKSHELF:
Blitzed: Drugs in The Third Reich by by Norman Ohler.
The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead.
Stag Dance by Torrey Peters.
NICO’S JANUARY BOOKSHELF:
Town & Country by Brian Schaefer.
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin.
Stoner by John Edward Williams.
LESS by Andrew Sean Greer.
Happy-Go-Lucky by David Sedaris.
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