Hello my sweet readers! Are you enjoying your summer? I hope you had a nice Pride and 4th of July. Here’s to 250 more years, I guess? I’m doing new material tomorrow Thursday July 9 in Brooklyn! Some hilarious friends will be joining me. Tickets are nearly gone so get yours today!
This summer has been extra fun for me because I am an avid soccer fan and the Men’s World Cup has been on every screen, every hour of every day since it kicked off on June 11.
If you’re a soccer fan, this World Cup has been electric. Messi, Mbappe, Haland and other incredible stars have been scoring goals like mad men. Most of the games have been competitive, many have been decided by late goals, some cinderella story teams like Cape Verde have made a name for themselves on the global stage. I could watch this sweet prince celebrate his goals until my last dying day.
Of course, this tournament has been shrouded in controversy for the last several months or even years depending on how invested you are. The United States has been, to put it lightly, unfriendly towards a number of nations who are participating in the year’s tournament. Most notably, the Iranian team had several staff members barred from entering the country. They also had all of their matches scheduled to be played in the US, yet were not allowed to be on US soil except for game days. Meaning they stayed in Mexico, traveled to the game on the day of the game, played the game and traveled back to Mexico on the night of the game. This is a totally ridiculous standard of hospitality for a host nation and unbelievably unfair conditions for the Iranian team.
The United States is a completely unchecked global power, as we are all watching unfold every day. When it comes to military force and political power, the US has spent the last 250 years masking imperialism and violence as foreign policy. Most countries are unwilling or unable to hold the US accountable for its actions. However, FIFA is not a country. If Trump got mad he can’t bomb FIFA. FIFA hosts the largest event in the world, by far. Nothing is more globally popular than the Men’s World Cup. This event has more social capital and monetary capital than anything else. As the two evil villains Trump and Infantino (FIFA President) rub elbows, we are reminded that FIFA had the opportunity to pull the hosting duties from the US at any time to use the social forces of our beloved game for good, but instead they’d rather twirl their mustaches and find a new island to frequent.
Our dictator’s grubby paws extended into the FIFA cookie jar again this week when one of the USMNT’s top players Folarin Balogun was given a red card for dangerous play in the Round of 32 match against Bosnia and Herzegovina. The FIFA rule for decades has been if you receive a red card in a competitive match, you receive a one match ban. Depending on the level of foul it can be up to a few matches banned. Notably, Cristiano Ronaldo received a red card in the final qualifying match ahead of the World Cup and was supposed to be suspended for the first two games of the tournament. FIFA pushed the suspension a year so that Ronaldo wouldn’t miss the matches and FIFA wouldn’t miss the chance to cash in on the world’s most famous soccer player. They’d already set a precedent for doing this which gave our commander in fuck ass the opportunity to push his ole buddy Giani Infantino (FIFA President) to suspend Balogun’s red card as well. All of this so that the USMNT could get waxed 4-1 against Belgium.
There has been some discourse on soccer podcasts and among soccer journalists about what the US should have done about this. We clearly can’t trust FIFA to do the right thing. The defense of the red card reversal has been that Balogun’s foul was not red card worthy. I agree with that, it was a pretty soft call in my opinion; however, the call on the field is the call on the field. You can’t have daddy call the ref and say hey change it because we’re sad! Its unfortunate that no one in US Soccer wanted to step in and say hey we don’t want his help. How might fans feel if Putin pulled this stunt on behalf of Russia?
USMNT Coach Mauricio Pochettino was quite excited to have Balogun back in the squad. And to be fair, its an unfortunate predicament for the players. None of them want to say hey actually this isn’t right, we don’t want our best striker on the field. Its also awkward for Balogun because he wants to play. A player only gets so many World Cups in their life it would be hard to look at your teammate and say sorry buddy, we have to stick up to the men in charge and say we won’t stand for this kind of political influence. So what then? There’s no way to stick up to Trump? We just let him meddle in everything until he bites it?
The other part of this conversation that most people won’t consider, is that this would never happen in the Women’s World Cup. First of all, there isn’t a nation’s president in the World who would care enough about women’s sports to insert themselves (they only care enough to ban trans women and girls from playing). The FIFA president certainly does not care if Marta or Trinity Rodman or Sam Kerr are out with red card suspensions. He’d probably say who is that again? But if it did happen, or something similar, I feel there would be more outspoken players pushing back on what’s happening. Maybe not. But historically the USWNT has been on the forefront of feminist movements, equal pay fights and specifically telling Trump to fuck off when he provoked them during their 2019 World Cup campaign (which they went on to win). Women’s professional athletes are used to being overlooked, not cared for and even actively targeted by governing institutions. They know the government at the very best is giving them only mild support. The badge they wear on their chest does represent the United States, but more accurately it represents the USWNT and the institution of women who have fought for their right to be paid fairly and valued for their incredible contributions to the sport, to the country and to women and girls.
The whole saga felt like an apt description of our political times. Trump and other billionaires mess around in our daily lives, just because they want to and can. When men are asked to stand up to it, they frequently cower. They make excuses, they find reasons to blindly take daddy’s handouts. They say there’s nothing we can do but accept his help and play the next game with our teammate who should be out. And their cowardice continued to spread as they made fools of themselves on the field losing 4-1 to Belgium, even with daddy’s help. I’d rather have watched them lose 8-1 if they told Trump to piss off. I’d more proudly tell every Uber driver who asks me who I’m cheering for in the World Cup “uh… I guess the US?” Thankfully for all of US we’re only 351 days away from the Women’s World Cup. Let the countdown begin.
SONG OF THE WEEK: Knee Deep by Zac Brown Band
Had to get my country music on when I was poolside with my girlies this forth of July. Stay cool out there!
NEW MATERIAL TOUR FALL 2026
7/9 - NICO AND FRIENDS IN BROOKLYN (10 TICKETS LEFT)
As always, if ticket price is a barrier to entry for you (especially if you are trans) please fill out this form and I will do my best to get you in! Comp tickets are first come first serve and can be limited depending on the venue.
Last but not least, watch BOYS CLUB! All five episodes of season 1 are out now on Youtube and you could watch all five in about 30 minutes. Perfect for your lunch break.
NICO’S JULY BOOKSHELF:
Let Us Play: Winning the Battle for Gender Diverse Athletes by Harrison Browne and Rachel Browne. BUMPING THIS AGAIN. Great resource that gets further into the myths around gender and sports.
Take Back the Game: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids’ Sports and Why it Matters by Linda Flanagan. This book is another great resource to unpack some of the larger issues with youth sports beyond gender.
NICO’S JUNE BOOKSHELF:
Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves by Sophie Gilbert.
The Candy House by Jennifer Eagan.
NICO’S MAY BOOKSHELF:
This month has been going so fast I don’t even remember which of those books I read in May. IF ANY! Thank you for all the recs, they’re going on my list. I’m recommending a TV show today:
Widow’s Bay on Apple TV - This is a comedy horror its super funny and scary! Really enjoying this. First four are already out and the last two come out tonight 5/27!
NICO’S APRIL BOOKSHELF:
Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves by Sophie Gilbert.
Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk.
Let Us Play: Winning the Battle for Gender Diverse Athletes by Harrison Browne and Rachel Browne.
Valencia by Michelle Tea.
NICO’S MARCH BOOKSHELF:
Heart the Lover by Lily King.
The Secret History by Donna Tartt.
The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin.
NICO’S FEBRUARY BOOKSHELF:
Blitzed: Drugs in The Third Reich by by Norman Ohler.
The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead.
Stag Dance by Torrey Peters.
NICO’S JANUARY BOOKSHELF:
Town & Country by Brian Schaefer.
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin.
Stoner by John Edward Williams.
LESS by Andrew Sean Greer.
Happy-Go-Lucky by David Sedaris.
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