Think of a few people in your life you admire specifically for their emotional strength and resilience—not because they never get upset, but when they do get upset, they handle it surprisingly well… They get anxious, but they rarely get lost in worries and self-doubt They get angry and frustrated, but they almost never fly [ ] The post Cognitive Reframing appeared first on Nick Wignall .
I’m always surprised how people seem to bristle at the word ambition—as if it were synonymous with greed, selfishness, and exploitation. But isn’t wanting to be a great dad a form of ambition? Or striving to be an excellent therapist? Or dedicating your weekends to a social cause you care deeply about? The way I [ ] The post Reclaiming Ambition appeared first on Nick Wignall .
When we get upset at someone, it’s rarely just their behavior that bothers us. Usually, it has more to do with what that behavior represents or symbolizes. For example: He’s such a jerk! I’m not just upset because he said something mean. I’m upset because it feels like he’s always mean. She doesn’t care about [ ] The post Jung s Window appeared first on Nick Wignall .
Brief answers to questions from newsletter readers: Do you have any book recommendations for dealing with depression? The Mindful Way Through Depression + Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time What’s your favorite book about anxiety? I’ve been re-reading Meditations for Mortals and it’s excellent (I interviewed the author, Oliver Burkeman about it here). I [ ] The post Reader Mailbag: Winter…
If you struggle to forgive yourself for something, it might be because of the way you’re thinking about forgiveness itself. In this essay, I m going to walk through three key insights about the psychology of self-forgiveness so that you can let go and move on. And to start, we need to clear up the biggest [ ] The post How to Forgive Yourself appeared first on Nick Wignall .
In this episode of Minds Mics, Nick chats with author and adventurer Alastair Humphreys about what it means to live adventurously, the connection between adventure and mental health, microadventures, self-reinvention, and more. 📣 LISTEN TO THE EPISODE 💌 JOIN NICK S FREE NEWSLETTER NicksNewsletter → 📙 ALASTAIR S WEBSITE BOOKS EPISODE TOPICS The post A Mind for Adventure with Alastair Humphreys…
If you’re struggling with anxiety, you probably know how frustrating most advice about anxiety is… Just breathe deeply Be mindful of the present moment Take a Xanax (or maybe some Valerian root if you’re a little more on the crunchy side) Advice like this is frustrating because while they often seem to work at first, [ ] The post 4 Anxiety Tricks You’ll Wish You Learned Sooner appeared first on…
I’ve never done a post like this, but I thought I’d give it a shot. If there’s one or two of these that you’re particularly interested in, let me know and I’ll see if I can put together a longer essay. Pain vs suffering. What’s the most useful way to differentiate the two? Is suffering [ ] The post 10 Ideas I’ve Been Thinking About Lately appeared first on Nick Wignall .
This edition of reader mailbag is a guest post by Dr. Ryan Martin. Brief answers to questions from newsletter readers: Is being hangry really a thing? Absolutely. The science shows that low blood sugar predicts anger and aggression. Why are millennials so ungrateful? I didn’t know they were, but if they are it’s because we’ve [ ] The post Reader Mailbag: Guest Edition with Dr. Ryan Martin appeared…
Why are we so mean to ourselves? It’s easy to think self-criticism is like a punishment we deserve for making a mistake. But the truth is much more interesting: your self-criticism is trying to protect you, not punish you. And once you understand what it’s protecting you from, you can finally stop doing it. The [ ] The post Why You’re So Self-Critical appeared first on Nick Wignall .
In this episode of Minds Mics, I chat with Dr. Ross White about the psychology of finding your purpose. You can listen to this episode in your podcast player of choice: Apple Podcasts → Spotify → Show Notes: What is purpose exactly? How purpose is different than values Why forming is better than finding purpose [ ] The post How to (Not) Find Your Purpose with Dr. Ross White appeared first on Nick…
Popular wisdom says that discipline is the antidote to laziness—and that if you’re disciplined enough, you will stop being lazy. But if you think about it, that’s a little silly: everybody’s lazy sometimes, and the idea that you can eliminate laziness with enough discipline is a pleasant fantasy that actually interferes with your ability to [ ] The post How to Be Disciplined, Even If You’re Lazy…
I published 37 essays in 2025. Here are the 10 most popular: The High Agency Mindset 7 Signs You’re an Anxious High-Achiever Emotional Strength Training 41 Pieces of Very Bad Emotional Advice All Anxiety Is Anxiety About Anxiety How Mind Makes Mood 4 Subtle Causes of Chronic Anxiety How to Identify High Agency People The [ ] The post My 10 Most Popular Essays from 2025 appeared first on Nick…
If you dislike traditional New Year’s resolutions but still want to be thoughtful about making the best of the new year, I have five alternative New Year’s resolutions for you. 1. Word of the Year You’ve probably heard of this one but maybe dismissed it as too simplistic or superficial. That’s what I did when [ ] The post 5 Alternative New Year’s Resolutions appeared first on Nick Wignall .
The best way to begin the new year is to reflect carefully on the old one. 1. If you had to sum up the past year in one word, what would it be? This is an exercise in perspective taking. Most of the year we’re in the weeds dealing with issues as they come up. [ ] The post 10 End of Year Reflection Questions appeared first on Nick Wignall .
Ah, the holidays… the most wonderfully stressful time of the year. I’ve been getting a lot of newsletter readers writing in asking for tips on managing holiday stress, so I’ve added a few more tips to my previous advice about how to manage holiday stress. 1. Don’t Pre-Stress The holidays are always going to be [ ] The post Advice for Managing Holiday Stress appeared first on Nick Wignall .
Brief answers to recent reader questions: Why do I get defensive all the time? Insecurity How do I become more secure? Assertiveness What do you think about the book The Body Keeps the Score? I was not impressed, mostly for reasons laid out here. How do I find my passion? Get really good at something. [ ] The post Reader Mailbag: Fall 2025 appeared first on Nick Wignall .
Indecisiveness is not a personality trait. You weren’t born with it, you’re not destined to it, and if you understand what’s really causing it—the psychological habits that maintain it—you can free yourself from it and become more confident making decisions, big or small. 1. Self-Doubt Self-doubt is a form of overthinking that involves questioning your [ ] The post 3 Habits Making You Indecisive…
From insomnia and back pain to irritability and depression, chronic stress can manifest in all sorts of painful and distressing ways. And it used to be that if you were chronically stressed, the recommendation was simply to relax. But these days, most people are savvy enough to realize that if you really want to address [ ] The post The Hidden Mechanism at the Root of Chronic Stress appeared first…
Values are principles that guide and motivate our behavior. But our values are not always our own… As children, we inherit values from our families. As young adults, we adopt the values of our friends and celebrities. And in middle age and beyond, we often cling to values of our younger selves. That’s not to [ ] The post 10 Values Discovery Questions appeared first on Nick Wignall .
Here’s something most people with chronic anxiety don’t realize: The type of anxiety you have doesn’t matter. I’ll explain what I mean in a minute. But before I do, let me introduce you to three former clients of mine—all of whom struggled with seemingly very different types of anxiety: Jack the entrepreneur had performance anxiety. [ ] The post All Anxiety Is Anxiety About Anxiety appeared first…
In this episode of Minds Mics, I chat with Dr. Ryan Martin, an expert in the psychology of anger. You can watch the video version of the podcast here: Watch on YouTube → You can also listen to this episode in your podcast player of choice: Apple Podcasts → Spotify → Show Notes: The most [ ] The post The Strange Psychology of Anger with Dr. Ryan Martin appeared first on Nick Wignall .
A few days ago I got an email from a brand new coaching client of mine. We hadn’t even had our first call together and she asked an interesting question: Is there anything I can reflect on ahead of time to make our work together more productive? I loved the question—mostly because it showed a [ ] The post 10 Self-Coaching Questions to Get Unstuck appeared first on Nick Wignall .
If you consistently struggle with procrastination, there’s a good chance you’ve tried the usual tips and tricks without much success: The 5-Minute Rule. Commit to working for just five minutes. Once started, momentum carries you forward. Remove Distractions. Silence your phone notifications, block distracting websites, or change locations. The Pomodoro Technique. 25 minutes of focused [ ] The post…