PARKINSON'S DANDY PUNK or FUCK PARKINSON'S...? With mouth ulcers & hundreds of new followers...WHO GIVES A FUCK..?

Mouth ulcers that make even trying to drink water agony trump everything else [what a cunt that man is to have made this most innocent of words toxic] plus compression sox that involve half an hour of life and death sttruggle to get off, on top of the pressure i’ve felt from having hundreds (well dozens) of new followers sign up on substack made the whole PDp vs FP waffle I’d spent hours on seem wholly irrelevant…Though presumably the wave of new interest was prompted by curiosity about my brave new title..

But now i’ve written that i'm feeling shit and shaky again so im just going to hit the publish button and wait for the wave of unsubscribes i’ll get from my use of the c unt* and nothign of any substance.

A Substacker’a lot is not a happy one… is not a happy one…

* Look out for Patricia Lockwood’s PERFECT PUSSY in the Paris Review of Books AND if you have an hour and 20 minutes to sit down and listen to the divinely inspired and Lockwood in convo about her new book WILL THERE EVER BE ANOTHER YOU? then I urge you to sit back and enjoy the ride,,,

In the earlier part of this horrid corrosive year, I’d been toying with the (now clearly hideously misconceived) idea of setting myself up as some of self mocking poseur to kick start the concept (conceit a more appropriate, no apposite term [weird the way he keeps coming up with all these fancy nancy words…then he has to look them up poor dear cos his mind is so fucked…these little sallies - another bloody ancient word - don’t work any more (never did) you old dick..so just shut it…k?] I had the dipshit stupid idea of changing this Substack to be by and for Parkinson’s Dandy punks

PDp’s being people who spit in the eye of Parkinson’s by drawing attention to themselves by the way they dress ie are Dandies - and who are punks (to capitalise the p word would be totally against it’s very essence) in that they have little time or respect (truck was the word that sprang to mind…) with those in authority…

Ideally they should still be up for getting '‘teenage kicks all through the night..” I.E. doing it or thinking about it was still an important part of their being. Age was of no concern to me…(R was of the opinion that I was the only 80 year old who fitted my criteria…something I hope is not the case…Weird I may be - but a freak? Surely not.)

And - no I’m not giving a footnote for that quote …if you don’t know then how the fuck did you get to be reading this…? If you know but can’t remember - there’s the encyclopaedia in your pocket…

In the few weeks of its existence I became irritatingly pedantic about the phrase = telling myself mostly the noun was the real signifier..so a punk dandy would mean someone who was primarily interested in causing a stir with the way they dressed…whereas a dandy punk was first and foremost a punk - a disruptive force…

[FYI IT HAS TAKEN ME 2 HOURS TO WRITE THE ABOVE THAT (ACCORDING TO SUBSTACK) WILL HAVE GIVEN YOU 52 SECS WORTH OF READING…STILL THIS IS BETTER THAN A FEATURE FILM WHERE ONE DAY’S SHOOTING PRODUCES BETWEEN 9O & 440 SECS OF SCREENTIME.]

The story so far I had been thinkng of re-naming the substack formerly known as End of the Line as Parkinson’s Dandy Punks a place where Parkie people could be rude and sweary, talk about clothes, sex, drugs & rock n roll…

However…[and don’t worty there isn’t much more] on April 1st Healing a Broken Brain subscribed to me, on checking this out I found a post headed Fuck Parkinson’s. The piece told how the phrase had featured in Shrinking, an apparently wonderfully powerful and moving Apple TV series in which Harrison Ford plays a guy with Parkinson’s and Michael J Fox plays another guy with Parkinson’s. In the first YouTube clip I found, the Ford and Fox characters first meet in the waiting room of neurologist - they swop stories about the P during which the MJF character sez “Fuck Parkinson’s” in a tone of noble defiance and the Ford character just before entering the neurologist’s office turns to MJF and repeats the phrase with a look of wooly determination.

I liked the fuck off attitude of FUCK PARKINSON’S and so did my very oldest friend S who i met at the Tate Modern the next day. But vastly more important was the horrible fact of the gulf between the stooped, shallow breathing constantly freezing1 old man of the 2026 Nick CC and the TheMarch 2024 model who came to see Yayio Kasuma’s Infinite Mirrors installation. I came fuelled with an over-microdose of acid…I remember coming out of the installation feeling not at all trippy but off my face and that the Tate Modern was as good a place as any to be feeling thus…And though i temember feelng as if i might just collapse at one point thiswhat not from fatigueacid. I was at the Tate in March 2024 I was off my box on over-micro dose of acid…which was a strange experience but one that I managed with a degree of sang froid [fucking hell mate you are old aren’r you..] Chapterine 66: That man, bad micro-trip, bad sleep, mad dreams,

Two years later I was a stooped, shallow breathing and constantly freezing old man..as we finally sat down on Members’ Terrace, S took my hands in his across the table gave me long sad look and said ‘Oh dear..’ I of course started crying…tried to say something but gave up as my voice was such a garble. S smiled and said ‘and we used to be such talkers didn’t we?’ When we first met in the 1980’s over many bottle of red wine Steve and would talk and talk…And not only did I talk - I had so many ideas to talk about.

Anyway at some point during the lunch I texted/mumbled to S about the PPd idea and then said that Fuck Parkinson’s…was much more in keeping with my mood. S was clearly unimpressed by the idea of my being a leading punk and said gently that he thought the Fuck idea better…