Help - I’m trapped in the body of a 80 year old guy with FUCKING PARKINSON’S!

The trouble with Substack is it feels like i need to write an essay-not just a screaming headline…. But right now im sat in my office chair in the corner of my beautiful flat so completely locked up and frozen with a screwed up Parkie face , my legs crossed cos they ache so much and crossing them somehow relieves the pain.

I’m writing this on my phone cos it’s all I’ve got just now and when I’m like this it’s the only thing I can use…in fact the laptop is becoming increasingly redundant as I start to master the predictive texting. Master is too strong i couldn’t master a fucking bowl of custard ATM. (Bowl of custard is feeble but nothing better came up

So that’s it.

lyrics to the rescue…mmm… I was intrigued to read that Little Richard’s Tutti Frutti is a hymn of praise to all things gay and deviant*….that is the take of one B Dylan that whipersnapper and general stirrer of the pot in his last work of print The_Philosophy_of_Modern_Song [sorry couldn’t manage the paste a link thing]

To be more precise Bob writes that Fruit=gay … so tutti frutti … obvs … BD continues that the two women Sue and Daisy are transvestites….

Sue “rocks to the east, she rocks to the west..” - so clearly not a straight bone in her body. So given this highly transgressive milieu that Daisy ‘…knows how to love me, yes, indeed’ and moreover ‘Boy, you don’t know what she do to me..’ It becomes glaringly obvious that there’s no standard hetero missionary stuff going on here.

Such is is all vaguely startling to me who had loved the absolute Rock n Roll wildness of the number since I first heard it in 1957/8 probably belting out of the four big black horn speakers at Saturday morning ice skating at Perth ice rink.

But enough of all this ffs..here are the lyrics.

[Chorus]
Tutti frutti, oh rooty
Tutti frutti, oh rooty, ooh
Tutti frutti, oh rooty
Tutti frutti, oh rooty
Tutti frutti, oh rooty
A wop bop-b-luma b-lop bam boom

• Richard admitted in his autobiography that the “tutti frutti” chorus was censored from an explicit lyric about anal sex:

Tutti Frutti, good booty
If it don’t fit, don’t force it
You can grease it, make it easy