-Personal archive of thoughts, observations, and drifting moments.
I think I should take some time to pause here. A lot more has happened and Village has had some more kinder incidents happening to me lately. I feel like, my writings have been affected still in a way i don't like largely due to the way my time has been limited and thus. Gosh I'm so tired. I....Goodnight. Maybe this break will allow me to fill in the blanks properly in my mind once I get what is…
I've been reviewing some older posts this week. Sitting, reading, working, chatting with other employees in between. And somewhere in that quiet routine I noticed something — I've drifted from my older voice. That realization made me sad. I loved the way I used to write. Recently things have been different. The circumstances demanded it. But even through the shift, it's still me at the core —…
After taking a few glances at my blog, Just some older posts. Things really seem disconnected. There seems to be more gaps than i had anticipated. I also really like reading my journey, the changes in my life. It's no wonder the anonymous comment read half of my work in one day. Reading made me see things from a viewer's point of view rather than just reviewing my day. It gave me a new pair of…
Working at my new job has been great. With what I can make in a month I should be able to live on my own — a studio apartment, something. My coworkers are nice, though some have a scary resting focused face. It's a much healthier environment. I'll take it. Now for the venting portion. I mentioned before that Spawnpoint believed I was somehow in competition with her. Let me explain exactly what…
Good news — I'm about to work two jobs. Bad news — I'm slightly annoyed today and don't wish to talk about what happened during the time skip. My stepfather, the enabler, decided to be less than subtle about his manipulation tactics today. He was itching to cause a fuss because I don't make it easy — I keep to myself. He knows I've never asked him for anything or used his charger in all nine…
Today sucks in general. Because of my spawnpoint, I ended up having a panic attack and needed six hours away from her to recharge. I'm going to take a break from writing for now.
Sometime within the last three days, including today, I found myself noticing something unusual during one of my routine trips to the park. The entire area smelled like eggs. At first I couldn't place it. Then I remembered that most of the neighborhood uses gas stoves. Considering the explosions that happened recently, my mind immediately wandered toward the possibility of a gas leak. I couldn't…
Yesterday was quiet on my end. More job applications, more waiting. I finished documenting the hostile intentions of every blood relative I've ever had. It took over a week to write down everything — all of it. I'm glad it's done. I should have the rest finished before the end of the month and finally get that out of the way. Yesterday morning, Spawnpoint decided it would be a nice idea to wake me…
I really miss seeing this style. The best I ever saw on playstation.
Today wasn't so eventful. Mainly job hunting, learning a few more skills, then a weighted run — fueled entirely by the certain desire to reach my goals, all that will better my existence. The most important one being the final act that severs every tie to this situation I'm expected to call home and biological family. I don't consent to that break being temporary. It has to be permanent. I'm…
I completely redesigned the anime page on my Neocities site. It's part of my about me page. The weather feature is gone — full redesign, fresh start. I didn't add every single anime I liked, but for 800 lines of code it'll have to do for now. Or I can just never update it. I'm not complaining about not adding more. If you want to check it out: 🠊🠊🠊🠊🠊 About Me website. This website is a work in…
Today was going smoothly. Applying for jobs, more interviews lined up, another one tomorrow. Then I saw it. The greatest art of 2026. Whale semen. On TikTok. It exists and I saw it and I can't unknow that. Then I learned about a planetary phenomenon called Conjunction. The planets appear side by side because they cross the exact same longitude in the evening sky — in this case, Venus and Jupiter.…
Here is the shaped version: Yesterday's interview was a loss before it even started. I was dressed for the occasion — sun out, sunscreen on, fully prepared. Then the interviewer was rude over the phone. I already knew. I turned out to be right. I moved on immediately and replied to another interviewer who was available that same day. She couldn't return the text. I figured, oh well — why not buy…
Feeling a bit more relaxed. Time for some fun. I want to talk about my Neocities page. It's still a work in progress — I took a week away from it. On my anime section page I went for a realistic weather look. It actually tracks the day and night cycle of where I live, as well as the moon cycle. If it's night, it's night. I wish I had added more to it, like stars, but for now the button and…
Today went pretty chill. I relived every messed up thing that ever happened to me at the hands of every relative I ever encountered. Wrote it down somewhere. I'm so glad I'll only be living this life with them once. I don't consent to any further encounters — not even in the afterlife. That's a one and done deal. If my afterlife is disrupted by them, I will personally destroy them all. My peace…
So. This morning I found out about something and..... I definitely have words for it despite how indescribable I feel. I'll just write what I saw. In 1991, hikers exploring the Tyrolean Alps between Italy and Austria discovered the mummified remains of a 5,300-year-old man. Scientists nicknamed him Ötzi the Iceman. They learned he was balding, covered in tattoos, and infected with a cancer-causing…
After catching part of the State of Play livestream, I really want to play God of War Laufey. Kratos was right — his wife fights beautifully. It feels like an opportunity to see how they met. Just more legendary gameplay waiting to happen. I also caught up on the From series. Season four took long enough. Dorohedoro has a season 2 and i feel sooo late for knowing that. Spiderman noir 😭. I really…
Hmm, I have nothing much to say for tonight other than male peacocks sound like some hella gay damsels 😂. It's seriously hilarious. It feels like i'm staring and listening to a gay man. Something about them makes me want to do some vocal stims. I just thought it was funny enough to share.
Hmm... tonight I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. It's been a few years since I've been in my MMD era. They were so funny and cool to me back then. I kept wondering how people animated these — it seemed like a complicated process to make it flow smoothly. Here are a few of what I remember. My first introduction to "Gasoline" was through the MMDs at the time. For this video, I was interested in Natsu's…
Just minutes ago, my egg donor's husband gave me a used and worn dresser. I was told it was for my laptop — in reality, it was just to get rid of their scraps out of sheer convenience. They bought a new desktop dresser. Knowing him, he probably thinks it a peace offering. A way to get closer to me. It's most certainly not. I only accepted it to eat on. I tire of the wooden contraption I already…
After scrolling through a bunch of music choices, I couldn't find a beat harder than this one. It's in it's own class. Like the conqueror's haki of beats. The type that could control the world through dance in an instant. What could possibly top this? It's not my favorite piece of music despite this. There are only qualities it lacks. Hardest beat though.
Today I'm making sure to note every interaction with my egg donor that I find necessary to keep in mind. I know that spoke of my desire to keep all mention of her minimal and in a way this still is. I don't go out of my way to write about what she does until it involves my quality of life. One she's never been awarded for improving without the intention of displaying reality of her false…
Damn, the song from my last post has me wanting to dance. It feels like a missed opportunity to breakdance. I don't know how to, but I did attend a breakdancing event not too long ago on April 18th. I think it's time for me to upload the experience — storage purposes and all. At this event there were multiple parts and...yeah. I think I'll just keep it short. I learned that breakdancing was a…
After having to play the tolerance games with my family, I managed to spark a sort of truce. I treat them like I care without really investing, and they leave me alone for the day. It's not hard. Just some small tasks. I keep noticing a pattern. Whenever anyone other than me has to be held accountable, their choices are dismissed amongst each other and the focus is turned back to me through their…
After finding my old phone, I was finally able to look deeper into why I had been feeling sick lately. At first I assumed it was because my menstruation was starting, but that has never really made me feel sick before, so it could not fully explain what was happening. Then came the second possibility. During my trip to do a series of tests in exchange for money, one of those tests happened to be a…