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my name's cat, i use she/her pronouns, and i'm 24 my interests include literature, languages, fashion, gaming, and arts + crafts you can contact me on ...

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it's (not) just a sports anime

i watched the latest haikyu!! movie in theatres a few weeks ago, and it has completely rekindled my love for the series, so much so that i've unwisely binged two seasons during finals week. if you don't know, haikyu!! is a volleyball anime about two former rivals, hinata and kageyama, that end up going to the same high school and joining the same team. kageyama is a prodigy setter trying to change…

who is that girl i see staring straight back at me?

in an ongoing battle with my self-image, i cut my own hair a few days ago. i wish i could say i felt like mulan, but considering she did it with a sword before going to war, and i did it with amazon scissors after a mental breakdown, i think i should leave my delusions of grandeur in the trash can with the rest of my hair. thankfully, the haircut is not bad at all. it's a little choppy and uneven,…

not asian enough, not american enough

i've moved once again! i'm finally back in my home state, and i can't complain. the weather is how i like it, clear skies with a breeze, and for the first time in my life, i was able to move in with more than two suitcases. i'm spending the academic year studying at an international institute, where the student body represents over 50 countries and 30 languages. it's fascinating and inspiring to…

honoring my calling

because i'm getting closer and closer to finishing school and finding a Real Job™, i've been thinking a lot about my "calling". motivational speakers claim everyone has one—you know, the sort of job that you feel like you were born to do, where you never have to work a day in your life because you love it so much—but i'm skeptical. at least, i'm skeptical that everyone has a calling that is…

seeking therapy

i'm tired of saying this, and my friends are probably tired of hearing it, but today was another difficult day. i tried to be kind to myself and listen to what my brain needs, but i don't know how to find the balance between self-care and self-indulgence. my brain says she's tired, and sleeping is a good thing, but is it still self-care if i don't get out of bed until 4pm? my brain says she can't…

have you eaten yet?

as an american, i know it's extremely rude to comment on someone's weight change or meal size, but it seems no such stigma exists in chinese culture. on one hand, of course these unsolicited remarks can still be hurtful. on the other hand, i've found that in certain contexts, making sure someone has eaten can be a gentle and subtle way to show that you care. i'm sure many children of color can…

💌 2+3 lessons from turning 23

i recently turned 23 years old, and since i haven't written in a while, i thought it would be a good idea to start my jordan year with this stereotypical blog post. bloggers tend to write as many lessons as years they've lived, but i'm nowhere near that wise—so, instead of 23 lessons, i offer you 2+3. 1) it's okay to be "basic" or "stereotypical". as someone who spent much of her teenage years…

💌 be kind to yourself

i recently moved to a foreign country alone and started taking rigorous language classes, so i've been dealing with a lot of loneliness and stress. i'm especially struggling with productivity and taking care of myself. i have a tendency to set unrealistic goals, feel overwhelmed by them, and then chastise myself for not doing all the things i think i should be doing. this creates a vicious cycle:…

how taiwan handles trash

one of the first challenges i faced after moving to taipei was the seemingly complicated waste management system. however, once i came to understand it, i realized that it is not only deceptively simple, but also brilliantly sustainable. garbage is separated into three main categories: recycling, food waste, and landfill. residents of taipei and new taipei city are required to purchase special…

reflections from a taiwanese quarantine hotel

two nights ago, i flew from san francisco to taipei on a special visa to study chinese. because of covid, taiwan remains mostly closed to foreigners and requires three days of quarantine in a hotel upon arrival, followed by four days of "self-initiated epidemic prevention" at a residence in which one has their own personal bedroom and bathroom. the day of arrival is day 0, and i am currently on…