That Was the Old Natalie, This is the New Natalie

I mentioned recently that I started back therapy. I have been in therapy on and off for 10+ years now. It started with couples therapy before I got divorced then post divorce I have done therapy on and off for years as needed. I took about a 2 year break but recently just felt utterly worn down. I was having trouble focusing, everything felt like a burden to me and nothing was really bringing me joy. I felt really overwhelmed for a multitude of reasons. The older I have gotten the more I realize if I don’t take care of myself and my mental health it is hard for me to be present and show up for others.

In full disclosure I have been on an anti-depressant for about 2/3 years now. It truly does help me. I feel like I would feel much worse without it. But I knew the things I was starting to feel were more effects from my current life situation. Something that I needed to do the mental work on and make some life changes.

I am a people pleaser to my core. I hate confrontation and will go as far to apologize for something I didn’t do or think was wrong just to end the conversation/argument. Being a people pleaser and being a single parent does not mesh well together. I grew up in a traditional family where my Dad was very much the disciplinarian. When we were in trouble as kids Dad was punishing us. My mom of course backed him up but she was the softer one we would go to after. When I got married and we had Sterling I just assumed the same situation would be in place.