Everything and nothing

O man, I felt so down and sorry for myself this week. In a real rut. Then I joined my local gym (been thinking about it for ages) and had really good sweat on the treadmill. Did a dance fitness class. All my good ideas came flooding back to me. I’m in the flow of hormonal changes (this isn’t everyone’s bag but it’s definitely my bag) but I realized I’ve been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for close to 6 years. Couple that with two healthy baby deliveries and my body feels a bit foreign to me. So I’m getting back in the swing of things with the bod and the mind. Plus, remember when I felt down that hill in Dunedin, New Zealand? Well, that nicked my ACL and really messed things up. No surgery required but I do feel like an old lady. Which as of the 23rd of this month I officially will be. 35. Cue you tell me off for that remark.

The heatwaves have subsided. I’m still in love with my Shark fan. I’m writing for my new album. It’s not comfy territory but in the big picture it’s all good stuff. My big thinking at the moment is - how do I sustain myself for the long run as a singer/songwriter? I’m over here in the UK to give this all a good shot. I’m no longer in the bubble of the NZ music scene, which is beloved to me, but it IS a bubble. I was riding on success there that I can’t ride on here. And that’s part of it. That’s part of why I wanted to come here. But is this really what I want to do? When my little one starts school, could that be an opening to go back to study? I think that answer is inside me and the answer could be both/and.

Ugh. That old thing.

When I was chatting to my friends The Broken Heartbreakers months back we were talking about how being a musician can feel like everything and nothing at once. How can something mean so much but also be so meaningless at the same time? I think that is what a paradox is.

Music feels like everything and nothing at the same time. It is deeply meaningful, and ultimately meaningless. I am important, and I am irrelevant.

Speaking of- The Broken Heartbreakers released their album last month. It is stunning. My little imprint Slow Time put it out.

HERE IT IS

Today is Bandcamp Friday so it’s a PERFECT day to purchase.

and Anthonie Tonnon has a new single too. Ps. his new record is insanely good.

I am also ON TOUR in the UK in late September - Norwich (with This Is The Kit), then with strings Reading, Hastings, York, Glasgow, Chester

Want to know what I was like at 19? Here’s little recording I did in 2011.

Thanks Mike Summerfield.

I was living in Christchurch. I left home at 18, packed my Honda Civic Hatch and went in search of something. Got a job at C1, met some beautiful people who were geniuses but I didn’t know it then. Tim Moore was a shining light for me and gave me a gig or two at Goodbye Blue Monday.

I had my very own flat above Ruby on High Street. The rent was $300 a week. I used to go busking down Cashel Mall to buffer up rent money.

Music really helped me, saved me, in a way, gave me something to hold on to.

I put these recordings up on Bandcamp this morning for Bandcamp Friday - so grateful for all the orders streaming through. It all reaches me direct.

That’s it for now -

I have a few things to announce next week so please do follow me here too

Me with Kate Stables from This Is The Kit - a dream is an understatement!

xx NR