I Write to Find Out Why I Grieve: Finding My Purpose For The Path Ahead

(To paraphrase--maybe badly--Joan Didion. Sorry, Joan.).

As the last third of my life approaches, I am making my efforts count in ways that are only now becoming clear. Finding a purpose is an important step for me, and I have finally found it, and I have written about that in this post. Also: the title My Sabbatical Era is going to be retired, as I reconfigure my focus here on Substack. A changed publication will post here soon.

All roads traveled in my writing have led--one way or other-- back to this life of grieving that I find myself contemplating almost daily now. This is not a morbid thing, nor is it really what might from the outside appear to be sad. It is just a fact.

Since that one outstanding day a few weeks ago that I realized this, I have not only been interrogating myself as to why my thoughts lean towards grief and its characteristics, I have also been trying to find the meaning of living half my lifetime in a state of backwards-glancing memories of people, places, ideas, and things dear now lost to me.

I am coming into my purpose, which is something I have been looking for since my early thirties. Here it is: to write about grief, as an interpreter of what grief and loss are made of, what they mean, and how they inform my writing of late. This means that I am really thinking about what my own grief means, and how I can personally find meaning in the emotions of trauma and loss.

I am currently reading blogs and books and writing--studying grief as a fully realized topic. It is an important one that I plan to begin to more fully--and freely-- explore through my writing.

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“Perhaps those, who, trembling most, maintain a dignity in their fate, are rhe bravest: resolution on reflection is real courage” --Horace Walpole

What does this mean for my readers here? It means that I am re-launching My Sabbatical Era under a different title and the writing will be focused more keenly on how I internalize and make meaning of grieving the people, places, and ideas in my life that have left me here, trying to figure out what I do without them.

One of the major steps toward this end that I am excited to explore is that I am learning about personal coaching, and how I can best serve others by becoming a grief and loss coach. That's the long term goal, to use my experience of loss to guide and comfort others through witnessing their grief and helping them to live with the feelings that come with grief and loss.

That, Reader, is my meaning!

So, that's all happening in the weeks to come. My writing will have more of a focused theme here than I have previously had. I am passionate about sharing ways to find meaning through our personal and collective griefs.

I hope you'll stick around to see what I have to say. I have been developing my purpose to have more of a reason than “ to just write something” for sharing my here.

I have been lax in keeping up a posting schedule here due to my health ups and downs. I am recommitting to showing up more frequently. It will be good for me, and I hope also for you.

Expect something from me usually on a weekly basis. I will try very hard to get something to you that I hope will resonate with you. We all have our griefs, and I'm here to talk about it.

There are 50 of you subscribed to this publication now! That's very encouraging to me. I hope more will find us in the months to come. I am happy to know that you find my words valuable enough to keep coming back for my posts.