Reading · Myq Kaplan's Arty Har-Hars

Dear friends,

I’m grateful that you’re here! Thank you!
It’s been a little while since I’ve done a long one of these, so I’m excited to share this with you.

Welcome (back) to another edition of my project where I share jokes that I love and a further discussion of those jokes and that love!

As you may know, this project began last year, with this piece about one Mitch Hedberg joke, where I assessed Hedberg in this way:

”His jokes are songs, infinitely relistenable. Whereas so much comedy requires surprise to have its desired effect, Hedberg’s has somehow transcended that.”

I now revisit another delightful Hedberg comedy gem. I hope you enjoy:

“You know when it comes to racism, people say ‘I don’t care if they’re black, white, purple or green.’ Oh, hold on now. Purple or green? You gotta draw the line somewhere. To hell with purple people. Unless they’re suffocating. Then help ‘em.” — Mitch Hedberg

(click here if you’d like to see and hear him tell it)

Since I began this project, I’ve written dozens of pieces about Mitch Hedberg jokes and their greater applicability to concepts in life that transcend the surface-level subject matter of the jokes.

And maybe that’s why it’s taken me so long to get to this particular joke. Because it can be easier to make something large out of something seemingly smaller, but to make something large out of something already large? That would be like a (bigger) hat on a (currently already fairly big) hat. Like a sombrero on a yarmulke. Or a cowboy hat on a beanie.

Interlude:

When I was getting my master’s degree in linguistics, I had to write a thesis. In determining what the topic of my thesis would be, my adviser offered a lot of ideas. Knowing I was a comedian, one of the resources she told me about was a study of New Yorker cartoons, in which they were analyzed into categories based on whether the image was (and I’m paraphrasing here) realistic or fantastical, and whether the caption was realistic or fantastical.

Accepting those binaries (while acknowledging that reality can be fantastical and fantastical things can be real), the researchers broke down all the cartoons into four quadrants: realistic image with realistic caption, realistic image with fantastical caption, fantastical image with realistic caption, and fantastical image with fantastical caption.

Now, I was not one of these researchers, I didn’t look through all of their work, and I didn’t end up using any of this in my thesis project, but it still stuck with me as something useful. (”Maybe I’ll have a Substack newsletter 20 years from now and this information will come in handy,” I surely thought to myself back in the aughts.)

All that said, my understanding is that the vast majority of the cartoons fell into two of the four categories, the ones where there was a mismatch of the realism and fantasticalism of the caption and the image.

As an example, one of my favorite New Yorker cartoons comes from Bruce Eric Kaplan and features God in heaven saying to an angel with a clipboard, “Oh, and c.c. the Devil.”

That one, I would classify as a fantastical image with a realistic caption, and the juxtaposition of that everyday language with the outlandish picture is where the humor arises.

Others would feature a realistic image with the caption being absurd.

Sometimes, a cartoon might feature a realistic image with a realistic caption, resulting in a kind of social commentary perhaps.

But the rarest combination was fantastical image plus fantastical caption.

And I think the reason why is exemplified most elegantly in this quote:

“We cannot have the extraordinary without the ordinary. Just as the supernatural is hidden in the natural. In order to fly, you need something solid to take off from. It’s not the sky that interests me but the ground. . . . When I was in Hollywood the [script] writers said, surely Mary Poppins symbolizes the magic that lies behind everyday life. I said no, of course not, she is everyday life, which is composed of the concrete and the magic.”—P. L. Travers, author of Mary Poppins

“In order to fly, you need something solid to take off from.”

The concrete AND the magic.

The fantastical needs to be fantastical in comparison to SOMETHING. Something real.

And this is why so many of my pieces here start from something small. Because in order to create something larger, I must start from something smaller.

And racism is not small.

The good news: this Mitch Hedberg joke is not REALLY about racism.

It’s more about Mitch’s faux exasperation with exaggeration.

His character in the joke is entirely fine with treating people of all EXISTING colors the same. And it’s only when people start bringing in colors of people that do not exist, that he takes issue, comedically. “To hell with purple people!” But really, what does he mean by that? “To hell with people who DON’T EXIST.” Implying care for people who DO EXIST. What’s the opposite of “to hell”? To heaven! To heaven with people who do exist!

And even in his denouncing the non-existent purple people, he also acknowledges that sometimes there might BE a real life existing purple person, purple because they are suffocating, and in that case, he says “help ‘em”! Which is entirely reasonable and kind.

Regardless of the color of someone’s skin, if the person exists, treat them kindly. Help them. Give them what they need.

A joke that seemed like it was about something big but was really something slightly different ended up actually being about something big: loving kindness.

Thank you for receiving this, my existing friends! To heaven with you and with all who exist! (And c.c. the Devil on that.)

And now, because I also like sharing my own jokes, here are some of those!
These are all about colors, in a way! Enjoy!

A) is for A rhyme with purple:

People say nothing rhymes with purple.
But you know who’ll come up with one? THIS twerp’ll.

B) is for Betty White:

Betty White’s character on The Golden Girls was ultimately the wisest, because it’s nice to see the world through Rose-colored glasses.

C) is for Christmas trees:

A Christmas tree is a paradox because it’s both seasonal AND evergreen.

And that’s about it from me.
But what about from YOU?
Here are some questions!

1) How are you doing? What is new and good? How is your heart?
2) Do you have a favorite color? What is one of them and why?
3) Do you have a favorite Golden Girl? What is one of them and why?
4) Do you have a favorite New Yorker cartoon? You know the drill!
5) How are you doing NOW?

Mitch Hedberg, Mary Poppins, and Bruce Eric Kaplan on Heaven, Flying, and Racism

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