I Know My Value. Now What?

“I know my value.”

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard this. We say it about jobs, pricing, relationships, and friendships. When someone doesn’t seem to value us, we walk away saying, I know my value. And I get it. This is one of our ways of saying, I won’t accept less than I deserve.

One of my friends used to say it’s less about your value and more about what the market demands. I’d take it a step further: we aren’t universally valued. You can be overlooked in one room and indispensable in another, which is why I’d much rather say:

I know how to find where I’m valued.

I don’t expect everyone to value me. Knowing my value has very little to do with convincing other people of it, and everything to do with accepting that some people, jobs, clients, and relationships simply aren’t a good fit, and letting that guide my choices.

☕ Buy Me a Coffee

There’s a story I love to tell about a guy I met and spent all of five minutes with. I was talking about a breakup I could not seem to get over, and I had convinced myself I’d never take anyone seriously again.

He looked at me and said, “Imagine walking into a shoe store and finding the perfect pair of shoes. If they didn’t have your size, would you stop wearing shoes?”

Of course not.

That conversation unlocked something for me. The problem wasn’t that the shoes were bad or that my feet were wrong; it was simply that they weren’t my size.

He didn’t end up being my person, but I’ve never forgotten him because he gave me a framework I’ve carried ever since.

So here’s what I want you to remember the next time you find yourself saying, I know my value.

If you really believe that, it has to change your behavior.

There’s another part to this that I have to call out. Knowing my value also meant preparing for the moments when I’d have to act on this knowing. That’s one of the many reasons I learned to save (and then invest) my money. I never wanted to be in a position where I knew I should leave but couldn’t afford to. Financial freedom isn’t just about what you can buy; it’s also about what you can leave.

Knowing your value means you’re willing to leave environments that consistently fail to recognize what you bring. It means you stop trying to convince people they need something they’ve already decided they don’t. It means your standards become something you practice, not just something you can recite.

When I graduated from college, I had two jobs that shaped the rest of my career.

The first boss was loud and mean, saying whatever they wanted. Everyone knew it and worked around it. I decided I wouldn’t, so I left.

The second boss was kinder, but still spoke to people in a way that lacked basic respect at times. I remember driving to work some mornings with what felt like a bear sitting on my chest. I told myself I wouldn’t do that either.

I work too hard to spend my days dreading them.

I’m the person who shows up early, stays late, and cares deeply about the work. But I also made myself a promise: the moment someone crossed the line of decency, I was gone, and that’s what knowing my value has come to mean. I know that everyone won’t see it, AND I won’t spend my life trying to convince the people who don’t.

My job isn’t to be valued by everyone; it’s to keep finding the people, places, and opportunities that already do.

If you need to up your savings game, you might find this useful:

I'm Myleik. I coach people through career pivots, business decisions, relationships, reinvention, and all the moments that ask us to choose differently. I write about what I'm seeing, learning, and questioning in real time. If you're ready to do the work, you can work with me 1:1, join Bring Your Work, or simply stay here and keep reading.