Writing On Life In-Between

Deep in a box, buried in the back of my storage locker, is a series of diaries.

Musings, confessions, deep thoughts, poured onto the pages by a girl, a teenager, a young adult trying to figure out the world and all the feelings life comes with.

Over a dozen notebooks, written to contain my story.

But in that story, there are gaps.

Months, even years between flurries of entries.

Those gaps represent the most peaceful moments of my life.

The times when things felt smooth, peaceful, clear.

The pages of my diaries are filled with the moments between — the breakups, the life pivots, the business struggles, the dreams unachieved, the life lived on the road with toddlers.

Filled with the experiences that deeply changed me the most.

This pattern feels clear now that I can see it. I write the most when I’m working through transitions, changes, upheavals and challenges.

I write the least when I’m living the result, the outcome, the destination.

I’ve repeated this cycle again with this online collection of thoughts that I’ve called The Freedom Diaries.

I’ve captured and explored all of the highs and lows of voluntarily leaving the “rules” behind, quitting working and travelling for a year and a half with my family.

And while I am in awe that this experience gets to be what I call life, it was really hard.

I was stretched to the edges of patience.
It was the hardest season of marriage.
My nervous system lived in this tug of war between peace and chaos.

My self identity felt fluid and ever changing, a constant negotiation between who I was and who I am becoming.

All of it, documented, there for me to review and relive at any moment.

But it’s the gaps that I’m missing.

Because I never documented the moments where life feels flowy and overwhelmingly peaceful, those moments don’t get their moment in the sun.

And right now? I’m having my moment in the sun… and I don’t want to skip over it.

So here I am, ready to write again, but this time from a new place.

I want to write about what it feels like to be in peace so I can remember how to get back here when the future will certainly bring me times of unrest.

I want to etch into these diaries the experience of all the pieces falling into place.

Write about living on both sides of the fence.

So, I’m opening the gate. Welcome to my side of the fence and all that it is right now.

We landed back in Vancouver after living in Bali for four months and have settled into a beautiful rental apartment.

With a fully mapped out spreadsheet, we visited 18 different apartments before walking in and feeling that this one was home.

We emptied our big storage locker for the last time just after Christmas and moved into our new place.

We have large, beautiful windows that overlook the deep green pacific northwest mountains.

The walls are clean and white, the floor a warm oak.

The last time I decorated a home was my first townhouse when I was 25 years old, everything monochrome, silver and grey and white.

This time, it’s warm. The style is a feeling, not a color.

Rich, textured linens and natural woods.

Inviting earth tones and splashes of deep green, inspired by our trip to Bali.

And it’s so clean.

After living out of half of a suitcase and my grey backpack for nearly a year and a half, everything has a place in this new home.

With our fresh start, we only moved in with two mattresses, four dining chairs and our kitchen plates and utensils.

Everything else is new. We don’t have anything extra.

No clutter to fill the spaces.

Nothing I’m holding onto “just in case” I might need it as we’ve purged it all before moving our life into a storage locker two years ago.

I’ve been teaching my girls (and husband!) the art of putting everything in its home, twice a day.

Once before lunch and once before dinner, the entire apartment is cleaned.

To me, a cluttered table or kitchen counter always correlates to the anxiety or stress level of the family and with them clear, the peace is evident.

The kids are happier, they fight less often.

My husband and I are fully synchronized again.

I’m in my element, making a home, building a home.

Using less, feeling more.

Plus, the gym in this place is awesome.

I didn’t set any resolutions or goals this year.

I turned 37 a few weeks ago and have nothing monumental planned.

Just a few, frivolous intentions for things I want to spend more time doing.

The first, to read outside of my comfort zone.

For the last few years, ninety percent of my reading selection is contemporary romance (chick-lit) or psychological thrillers.

But this year, a random Facebook post I saw inspired a challenge to try a few new genres.

The post outlined a ranking of the 52 books he had read in 2025 and my curiosity was piqued when I saw two of my favorite books on his list.

It made me wonder if we enjoyed a similar taste in genre.

My top books from this list? Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir and Dark Matter by Blake Crouch.

Since finding his tiered book selection on January 1st of this year, I’ve read three:

• Flowers for Algernon, a literary/sci-fi blend that I gave five stars.

• The Will of the Many, a high/epic fantasy story that I was enamoured with, five stars as well. I’m currently reading the second, 700+ page instalment in the series.

• The Devotion of Suspect X, a Japanese murder story that I gave a rounded up, four stars.

Have you read any on this list that you loved? Leave a comment.

Right now, I’m reading about 2 hours each day split between morning, afternoon and evening.

I just can’t get enough of a good book and a hot lemon water, all while curled up on a heating pad in the sunshine.

Yes, please.

My second, frivolous intention has been to learn how to write covered calls on our investment portfolio.

Writing a covered call is similar to receiving rent for stocks that are just sitting in your portfolio. Instead of sitting idle, they can generate cash flow.

There is a bit more to the strategy than that, but we’ve invested in a few indicators we are using to monitor when prices are likely to revert, making this strategy more successful.

Because we have a home base right now, we won’t be travelling as much as we would be carrying two sets of expenses, one for home and one for the trip.

My idea was to explore if this source of income could pay for our trips each year.

If we want to travel four months per year, at an average of $8,000/month, I’d need to generate approximately $32,000 each year.

For 2026, we may not take a big, multi-month trip as in previous years, but instead save up to begin again in 2027.

I’ve only started learning about covered calls a week ago and have no results to report as of yet, but I might explore how this works out deeper in a future diary.

But that is pretty much it right now — decorating my home and setting up a home base, reading new genres and exploring selling covered calls.

Time feels slow and my days meander, but I’m loving it.

There feels like an overflow of it to spend with my family, catch up with friends on Zoom and in person, and say yes to whatever sparks my interest.

That, and spending a ton of time with my little girls.

After spending the entire last two months offline, it has given me such space from the noise.

It’s even possible the peaceful space I’m in right now is a result of this very decision.

I’ve disabled my Instagram and no longer use Facebook.

I’ve scrubbed both platforms of photos of my girls.

I no longer feel distracted, it’s glorious.

But I’ve decided to return to Substack.

As I intend to continue writing, I still want to honor the desire for privacy I posted about in my previous article, entitled This is Project Incognito.

Finding the edges of this boundary, but also returning as me.

So here’s to a year of peace, and the inevitable bumps along the way.

To another year of exploring what freedom looks like, what it feels like, and continuing to question the rules.

Onward.