/leaf was here/
i am alive. july was a hard month. i ended a friendship that meant a lot to me, and have been grappling with the emptiness that comes after. i have been in the throes of dealing with workplace harassment. my body hurts every day from the labor that i do that on my days off i almost never have energy to go out. i gave up on being vegetarian and subsequently pescatarian. i held space for a friend…
Happy Pride. I'm glad that I'm still here, that you're still here. I'm proud of who you are and who you are becoming. Thank you for being here. The world is scary, but you are not alone. You are never alone. There is still time. It is never too late. Thoughts? Leave a comment in my guestbook or shoot me an email .\
Content Warning: This post talks about injections in some detail. If you have an overactive imagination or are queasy about needles, feel free to skip this one. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of doing my first ever Botox injections. Prior to my diagnosis, I had no interest in pursuing a Botox procedure. This was before I realized that Botox had some pretty significant uses in medical applications,…
**Content Warning: ** I hate you and I love you. you asshole why is everything the way that it is why can't I be in a room with you without the silence stretching for miles I miss you. I miss you. you've hurt me and made me cry so many times, even now, especially today but I miss you. Thoughts? Leave a comment in my guestbook or shoot me an email .\
I saw this post on the Discover feed and I thought it was really neat. I like the idea of using this more than my current photo diary, so I made my own moments page that you can check out here . If I like this enough, I may switch away from using Format for my photo diary. Thoughts? Leave a comment in my guestbook or shoot me an email .\
Content Warning: I vent about my health issues. It's been about a month since my diagnosis. Since then, it's been a whirlwind of tic flare ups, medication trialing, an upcoming appointment for injections, and overall general distress. Suffice to say, I have not been having a good time of it. I'm worried that my body isn't handling all of this very well. I'm having bouts of heavy fatigue. The…
Content Warning: This post talks about some mental health struggles. Leaving behind your whole life and everything you'd ever known is not easy. But I had to do more than survive, and something had to give. I knew this when I was sobbing in my bedroom night after night, wanting to be swallowed whole, to disappear. My online friend and my best friend both knew this intimately when I would turn to…
Content Warning: This post talks about death and experiencing that loss. It's been five years since my Lolo passed. He was a complicated man. Quiet, yet commanding presence. Wiry arms disguising an imposing strength. A gentleness that could easily give way to anger. My cousins tell stories - our parents tell nightmares. He was the type that seemed to have mellowed out towards the end of his life.…
Media always portrays your first kiss as something so incredibly intimate and emotionally charged, with the average expectation that it's supposed to be reserved for your special someone. For a long time, I wasn't sure if I was someone who could see that in myself. It's partially a self-esteem issue and also what I would consider some subgenre of aromantic thought process. I just have a really…
Content Warning: Smoking. Days since last cigarette: 146 days (Dec 30, 2025) Time of incident: Approx. 9:00 PM (May 24, 2026) Context: Stressed about diagnosis. High from marijuana. Mentally exhausted from long day. On low blood pressure medication for tics. Hanging out with a friend who smokes. Confidant: X Additional notes: Felt immediately disappointed afterwards. Car smells like smoke, felt…