>Journal entries, essays (kind of), short stories, and a piece of my brain served for you.\\ Hi, I do have a physical diary, but I also have the human nee...
I have refused to read The Bell Jar if not in its original English. Back at home, a copy of it was already a bit costly; not insanely so, but enough that it was out of budget to ask for it as a birthday gift (I'd look too greedy), and it would require me to purposefully save up for a month or two to buy a Spain Spanish edition of it. I felt that would simply feel like a disservice to the…
Today was my third presentation here. It means I have only one more to go before I can leave this place and pretend it never existed. It did not go how I planned or how I hoped it would go, and that knowledge is making me writhe in embarrassment. I tried. I tried so hard. The fact that it didn't go the way I expected and it was witnessed is what has me nauseous to this moment. I am coming down.…
Why is this happening? 9 cups Desire fulfillment "Getting what you want" Expectations Performance Output The Devil ® Breaking dependency (in progress) Reclaiming control Breaking of chains Detach from something unhealthy 2 of wands Choosing / Decision First steps Horizon Transformation Forward Material to make designs come true Decide → meaning I am allowed to make a decision, to chose what feels…
Hay dos claves para la abundancia: Las leyes del universo (we must be attuned to them in order to live in perfect harmony with it) 7 dones internos (Notas de la clase con Maria Montemayor de Soy Abundante. I don't agree with everything and this is frankly a mess, but if you speak both Spanish and English and find this, it was probably meant to find you.) Conceptos a manejar para desbloquear la…
La Gnosis y las Escuelas de Autoconocimiento En la antigüedad autoconocimiento = ciencia = espiritualidad. En la actualidad no reconocemos que estamos conectados con todo lo que nos rodea; las personas, la naturaleza, las historias. Esa desconexión dicta el ritmo de vida de la persona promedio en la actualidad caótico, desorganizado, controlado por factores externos. Ahora todo lo que nos empujan…
Something not depressing for once, who would've thought. These notes are from my almost 200 pages long Chinese master-doc. I've been studying Mandarin for a bit over two years (as long as I've lived in Taiwan) and these are some of my own notes on this journey. There is Spanish on the notes too, sorry about that (or you're welcome?) and the format is a little... very fucked up in parts.…
It is hard to pinpoint the exact moment I began wanting to live. It is recent, though I am not. I have been wandering aimlessly and painfully for no particular reason. My existence, though materially comfortable, has been a mystery I never quite managed to untangle. Something odd and perpetually half-rotten. I marvel at these pieces of myself that I remember only like some moldy film, these…
December 23rd, 2023 Mui Ne, Vietnam I dreamt of Lord Satan. I was in a cozy, candlelit room, the type of place you'd call your boyfriend to break up with him, but trying to let him down easy. He wasn't entirely corporeal, more so a shadow, a voice that didn't speak any language in particular but was understood oh , so clearly. I asked him eagerly the question, the one I've been nursing since I was…
There's a smell to sickness. A slow kind of rot. It is soft and written between the lines, cushioned by cotton and something worse than antiseptic. It's in the bodily fluids and the inhaled dust of crushed pills that are to be diluted in water and pushed through a feeding tube, which will be black by the time someone finally takes it out. It has settled into my house again, occupies a water bed…
A Latina writes vaguely on the myth of nonchalance and the metaphysical weight of shared passion. There’s a thunderous roar, the kind that makes you wonder if Maimaktês Zeus has graced us with his golden footsteps, reckoning at our doors. It ripples —first the street, then the neighborhood, the city, the country. Across the Andes, something similar is happening. Simultaneous . However, the…