Small Acts, Big Impact

My son Logan, who is almost 6, recently spent the day with a friend of his who is autistic. Let’s call this friend Henry. They spent time together along with Henry’s parents. Henry has a tough time regulating his emotions, and Logan knows that sometimes Henry has big feelings. After Logan’s playdate with Henry, I received a text from Henry’s mom. She said, “Henry told me Logan is the best kind of person because he didn’t get upset or angry at Henry’s emotions and was a great friend to him. Henry wants to be more like Logan.”

What a beautiful compliment for Logan to receive. I was so proud of my son for being a good friend to Henry when he could have easily gotten annoyed or frustrated with Henry’s different communication style. Logan has learned how to be a good friend, and he’s consistent with his friendship, regardless of the situation. This is a characteristic I truly admire.

The situation brought me pride as Logan’s mom, and also sadness that Henry has to go through this world experiencing people who won’t give him the grace he deserves. How often do we find ourselves being less than optimal people when we’re frustrated and annoyed with the differences in others? I’m guilty of honking at people who don’t immediately move forward when the traffic light turns green, even though I’ve been the person tending to my child and unaware of the light changing. I’m guilty of angrily clearing my throat at the post office employee who should have seen me by now, but is happily scrolling on their phone, even though I’ve been the distracted person on the other side.

DALL-E Prompt: Create an abstract image that depicts friendship, empathy, and kindness.

So how do we become more consistent in our grace? I asked Logan, and he immediately responded with, “Practice, practice, and more practice.” He’s right. We have to decide who we want to be for the people around us and practice behaving that way so often that it becomes a natural habit. My son is known as the kid who is full of grace and kindness, and I want to be known as the adult with the same characteristics, so I need to do a better job of intentionally putting that into practice in every situation.

I was reminded recently that being intentional in our actions requires us to be fully present in each moment. It’s easy to let the busyness of life distract us, causing us to react out of habit rather than thoughtfulness. By slowing down and paying attention to our interactions, we can be more mindful of how our words and actions affect those around us. Intentionality means choosing to act with purpose, whether it’s offering a kind word, being patient in a frustrating situation, or simply listening without judgment. When we are present, we are better able to recognize opportunities to practice kindness and empathy, making a conscious effort to create positive experiences for others. This level of attentiveness not only strengthens our relationships but also fosters a deeper sense of connection and understanding in our daily lives.

From Logan’s playdate, I learned a few valuable lessons:

1. Empathy in Action: Logan's ability to understand and accept Henry's emotions without judgment is a reminder that empathy can bridge the gap between different communication styles and emotional responses.

2. Consistency in Kindness: Being consistently kind and understanding, even when it’s challenging, makes a significant difference. It’s not just about isolated acts of kindness but about making it a habit.

3. Reflecting on Our Behavior: Recognizing our own impatience and addressing it can lead to a more compassionate approach towards others. By practicing patience and understanding in our daily lives, we set a positive example for our children.

As our world becomes more divisive by the day, it’s a good reminder to be the person you want your children to see, and do it consistently. Let’s practice grace and kindness until they become second nature, just as Logan has demonstrated. We owe it to ourselves, our children, and those around us to be the best versions of ourselves.

My son’s experience with Henry taught me that our small, consistent actions of kindness and grace can have a profound impact. As Logan practices being a good friend, I am inspired to do the same and encourage others to join in this practice. Together, we can create a more understanding and compassionate world.