What’s in a (my) name?

Hi, my name is Pritam.

Yes, my parents named me Pritam. The pronunciation varies depending on the accent of the person who is saying it. Here in the US, it usually sounds like “Preedom.”

I am pretty sure I have a completely unique name. No one else in the entire world has my name, Pritam Potts. No one. This can be a positive or a not-so-positive thing.

However, I have been called everything from Mr. Potts to Freedom (“Oh your parents must have been hippies!”) to everything in between: Prytam, Frieda, Prihtam, Preeta, Priya, Potts (yes, as my first name), Rita, even Andrea.  At least my last name is usually just mispronounced as “Totts” (the P and T pronunciation thing when spelling it out) but thankfully that doesn’t happen often. I answer to anything remotely resembling my first or last name at this point.

But how about when my last name was Khalsa? Never mind, let’s not go there right now. Middle name? Another story for another time.

That my name is so unusual has led to some interesting occurrences. Being addressed as Mr. has happened about a thousand times. Way back when, the Selective Service was after me for failure to register for the draft. They were going to hold up my college financial aid package! I had to send them a copy of my passport. Amazingly, since I was dealing with a government agency, it worked the very first time.

The name Pritam is of Indian origin (India, not Native American Indian—another thing I always have to clarify.) I was always told it means “beloved”. What I discovered later is that it is traditionally a male name. So that’s been interesting to see what comes up when Googling myself periodically (everyone should do an internet search on themselves once in a while to keep tabs on what your online presence looks like), or when I encounter anyone who is familiar with “Pritam” as a commonly male name.

Over the years, there have been confusing encounters when people who recognize my name as Indian see that I am quite obviously of Scandinavian descent and/or not male. In college I met a fellow student and Sikh, of Indian descent, whose mind was totally blown when I told him my name and that I had been raised as a Sikh. He couldn’t comprehend it. That’s happened several times (and how exactly I was raised is another story for another time.)

Then there was the time I called Hewlett-Packard for assistance with my new HP printer. The representative on the line was from India and we were getting along great. When she took control of my computer remotely, she noticed a picture of me that was visible as part of my Windows profile. She seemed quite perplexed when she asked if it was me in the photo.

Moments like those happen less these days as it seems we are more connected across cultures and countries than ever before, and there seem to be more fascinating and unique names out there than ever before. I think this is a great thing.

But still, here’s what typically happens:

Me: “Hi, I’m Pritam. Nice to meet you, so-and-so.”

Them: “Wow, that’s an interesting/beautiful name!”

Me: “Thanks!”

Them: “How did you get a name like that?” (The variation is: Were your parents hippies? This question often occurs when they think I said “Freedom.”)

Me: “It’s from India.”

Them: “Oh really?” Insert many more questions here, especially when I would say I grew up in what was basically a cult. (Let’s also not go there right now.)

Finally, I just started telling people that my parents really were into India back then or that they were hippies, because, you know, it was the 70s. It’s easier.

I also eventually figured out I could go by “Pri” and that would also be easier (it is.) Although a couple of times people have thought it’s “Pre” as in “Prefontaine” referring to Steve Prefontaine, the great runner. Which makes sense, as Pri is pronounced “pre” so give me an “i” or an “e” and I am good! (I will also answer to Brie/Bree.)

Needless to say, my name is a tremendous conversation starter.

And as you can imagine, people rarely forget it, which puts me at a serious disadvantage as I immediately forget everyone’s name. (I have name fright! Even if I think I know someone’s name, I am so worried that I remembered their name wrong that I am scared to call them by the name I actually probably do remember correctly!)

And how about those unfortunate folks that have to pronounce my name without hearing it first? I do feel bad for them. The next question from them after they realize they have the right person is always, did I pronounce that correctly? I’m always really nice to them.

Whether I like it or not, Pritam is my name and always has been. There was a period of loathing around it when I was younger, when I wanted nothing more but to run far far away from my “uniqueness” but I eventually made peace with my name. (To be clear, we are referring only to my first name, NOT my full name with which I grew up. Another story for another time.)

But notice that here on this platform, I’m Pri. And I like it that way.

So, what were my parents thinking when they named me Pritam?

Another story for another time.

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