Today I write to you once again from the majestic shores of Lake Erie in Ohio, where I am visiting briefly for a wedding and to see family and whatnot. My sweet dog Luci and I have just returned from a walk on the beach, where we tossed the ball around a bit and she took an impressive amount of dumps in the sand. I cleaned them up, because I am a gentleman.
Just a couple days ago, I woke up in the Paris, the main one, in France, after a week of doing shows, eating stuff, and seeing friends in various European countries. I was supposed to start my European invasion in Amsterdam, but made a capricious move at JFK and flew to London instead because I am a man without limits.
Shortly after my arrival in London, I went for a nice, jetlagged walk in Hyde Park with my friend Alessi and her two year old-son Remi, who was full of the kind of energy humans this age are rumored to have.
“Keep talking- I’m listening,” Alessi would say as she chased Remi in ever-changing directions across the park. Then I would keep talking while chasing after them both.
Remi is really into flowers and would often mumble something in French before gesturing for me to smell each new one he’d discovered along the way. He doesn’t have a phone so he has time for this kind of stuff, which is just one more thing I like about him.
Remi also gave me a chestnut he’d found, which I still have with me in Ohio. Maybe I’ll bury it here in hopes that it grows into a tree one day. The stories it could tell.
“I could have spent my life right there in the heart of London,” the Chestnut tree might say in the tree language I am confident exists. “But Ohio is nice too. Similar rainfall.”
In between sniffing flowers, I gave Remi one of my guitar picks. I figured he might like it not because I am sweet at ripping solos but because it had a picture of Luci on it. But he dropped it, seemingly on purpose, moments later. Kids, am I right?
The following morning, I took the Eurostar to Rotterdam to do a show at Comedy Club Haug, a beautiful club right along the North Sea, where my Finnish buddy Harri Soinila was kind enough to do a guest set before me. I was supposed to perform at CCH in June but a train strike in the Netherlands derailed things (pun intended, I guess), so we rescheduled it to avoid a Dutch riot, one of the worst kinds. It was a really fun show, with folks coming all the way from Germany, Belgium, and various cities across the Netherlands to see me, Dave, the Cleveland Kid. Some of them even wore my T-shirts and everything, which made me glad I decided to ignore my parents advice to get a job and become an international superstar instead. Take that, everyone from high school.
After the show, Marcel Haug, the club’s namesake and co-owner along with his wife Debbie, turned me on to some great Dutch bands from the 60s, including the Dutch-Indonesian band the Tielman Brothers, who bring some serious rock heat. You can and should watch them in action above.
From Rotterdam, I headed back to London, where I did my buddy Rich Fulcher’s Talkbox podcast, hung out with various friends while eating and drinking various things, and saw Oasis at Wembley stadium with my buddy Tim and a couple other buddies. I’d never seen Oasis live before and it was super fun to see them on their home turf along with 100,000 other fans. It was a great show- they played all the hits and Liam Gallagher did perhaps the greatest Liam Gallagher impression I have ever seen throughout. An added bonus was getting to see Joey Waronker from one of my favorite bands ever, Walk Mink, on drums. I first saw Joey play at CBGB’s thirty years ago, a stark reminder of both the passage of time and how great my hair still looks.
After a few days in London, I headed to Paris, mentioned earlier, for Paris Fashion Week because look at me. My buddy and fellow comedian Brian Babylon has a great new clothing line called BB Spoke and put on a bunch of shows where various comedians wore his clothes while performing. I did a couple of these shows and wore an awesome upcycled jumpsuit and shirt Brian made. You’ll be seeing more of it.
I love Paris so I was thrilled I could come over, do a couple shows, and see a few friends. My favorite thing to do there is to walk around all day and just stare at all the buildings while also pretending I am Amelie. Most days I’m there, I average between 20,000-30,000 steps a day according to the step counter on my phone. Occasionally, I stop for an espresso, a pastry, or a dangerous amount of cheese and then just keep walking. Next to hanging out with dogs, it might be my favorite thing to do in life.
The cheese selection here in Ohio isn’t quite as good, but Luci is here so I’ll be fine. I tried to tell her about Paris but she just looked at me and took another dump in the sand.
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