A Morning Walk

It’s hot one today here in NYC, 85 degrees last I checked but it feels like roughly 1000, maybe even hotter given the fact that I refuse to wear shorts or any other clothes one might define as “summery” as a matter of some principle even I don’t quite understand. I’ve just returned home from my daily morning outing with my sweet pup Luci, who isn’t exactly crazy about the heat either but, like me, doesn’t let it stop her from living her damn life.

Luci and I were both slow-moving as we left the house today, what with the heat and us both advancing in our years and all, but she still walked in the direction of the sun and scorching hot sidewalks of 7th Avenue anyway. Since I am ostensibly in charge though, I pulled her toward the shadier side streets we usually walk on our way to Washington Square Park most mornings.

As we made our way down a slightly less hot block, we happened upon three guys sitting on the sidewalk and leaning against a fence as one of them lit up a crack pipe. I don’t see people smoking crack on the sidewalk often in my neighborhood and, while I guess I’m supposed to have mostly negative feelings about it, there is a tiny part of me that enjoys seeing as it reminds of a simpler time.

The people who were smoking crack just so happened to also be sitting right in front of the tree where Luci likes to take a colossal dump most mornings. Since I try to be a considerate type, I usually try to avoid letting Luci do her business right next to people enjoying dinner, casual conversation, or even crack. But I was admittedly distracted by the sight of crack being smoked and Luci had gotten things underway before I had a chance to pull her further down the block.

“Sorry,” I said to the guy smoking crack and his two friends, who would presumably be smoking crack just as soon as he was finished.

“It’s okay,” one of them said with a laugh. “She’s gotta go!”

“Yeah,” the guy next to him said. “She’s taking a big dump!”

“Yup,” I replied.

Then we all just laughed together for a moment in appreciation of the huge dump Luci had just taken just a couple feet from where they were getting their day started. It was a little weird maybe but also kind of nice as I enjoy bonding with people about the simple things in life no matter who they are or what they’re getting up to.

After Luci had completed the transaction, I bent over to pick up the steaming pile and, as I did, a cloud of crack smoke came wafting in mine and Luci’s direction. I have no idea what’s in secondhand crack smoke, but I assume it’s nothing good so I did my best to hold my breath as it passed. I would have told Luci to do the same but I can barely get her to sit most days unless I have a treat in my hand so it seemed like a waste of time. Plus, I didn’t want to embarrass anyone.

As Luci and I continued in the direction of Washington Square Park, I momentarily worried over the possibility that she might have inhaled secondhand crack smoke and might technically be high on crack, at least as far as dogs go anyway. But then I thought about how she has kind of behaved like she was high on crack ever since I brought her home as a puppy ten years ago and decided not to get too hung up about it. Also, she stopped to smell some other dog’s pee on a lamp post a second later and if that’s not classic Luci I don’t know what is.

Watch this space to find out whatever crazy shit Luci and I get up to next.