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Movie Mastery

Jef and Jon review movies by randomly rolling on an audience-submitted list.

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Movie Mastery - Last Action Hero (1993)

The meta-commentary on action movies that can't quite decide if it's a parody or a love letter to the genre Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Boris and Natasha (1992)

The Rocky and Bullwinkle spinoff movie 30 years later that has none of the charm or humor of the original show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Our Drawings (2023)

An incomprehensible mess of low grade animation that barely has a plot and constantly changes what its own premise is Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Tammy and the T-Rex (1994)

A classic of the bad movie genre that only got made because someone had a mechanical dinosaur available for a month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Bloodrunners (2017)

Prohibition era vampires running bootleg blood using a speakeasy as a cover is a great idea but unfortunately this movie was made for None Dollars that all went into hiring Ice-T Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong (2013)

A crossover movie that is entirely coasting on the title and the knowledge that some people will watch literally anything to do with weed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984)

Pia Zadora falls in love with an alien musician in this sci-fi/musical/comedy B-movie mash-up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Push (2009)

A film that feels like an RPG with a bunch of psychics fighting a secret government agency Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Gandahar (1987)

A psychedelic 70's animated film for adults that somehow got made in the late 80's because of the French Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984)

Journey back to the forest moon of Endor, where magic is real, the Force isn't a thing, and the 12 year olds are the absolute worst. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Alpha and Omega (2010)

An animated movie about wolf romance that has some weird ideas about what being an Omega wolf means (no not like that you internet perverts) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999)

A feature that mashes up samurai films, mafia movies, and hip hop into something you are either going to vibe with or not Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Mako: The Jaws of Death (1976)

A diver with a magic amulet that gives him a psychic connection to sharks must battle against Florida's most cacklingly stupid villains that just love abusing sharks. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Slappy and the Stinkers (1998)

The unholy combination of The Little Rascals and Free Willy brought to by the same studio behind The Pest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Drum (1976)

The sequel to Mandingo that has nothing to do with that movie and everything to do with being terrible Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - The Life & Adventures of Santa Claus (2000)

Based on the book by L. Frank Baum, this animated movie shows the true story of Santa being raised by fairies and menaced by evil rock monsters. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Remote (1993)

Home Alone meets Toys if those movies had no budget, or talent, or ideas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Message From Space (1978)

A Star Wars knock-off from Japan that is bad but not in a fun, campy way but a boring, 70's way Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Fright Night (1985)

We look at the original Fright Night, a classic 80's horror movie where everyone is kind of a goober and there's a vampire named Jerry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)

The last one of these movies to actually have Doug Bradley as Pinhead and the first starring role for Henry Cavill. Also, an absolute turd! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Malibu's Most Wanted (2003)

Jamie Kennedy does a movie where, get this, a white guy acts like a stereotype of a black gangster. Oh ho ho. How absolutely hilarious. What will they think of next? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Guyver: Dark Hero (1994)

A lower budget sequel to the American live action movie based on the Japanese manga that tries to be more dark and gritty and is mostly more boring Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Crossroads (2002)

Britney Spears gets everything she's ever wanted while her friends' lives crumble around her. Woo! Fun road trip! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Magic Mike (2012)

The raw charisma and undeniable talent of Channing Tatum can only do so much to save this mostly forgettable movie Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Gleaming the Cube (1989)

A totally radical skateboarding movie that has very little to do with skateboarding and a lot to do with Vietnamese crime drama Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Satellite Girl and Milk Cow (2014)

A movie with an absolutely bananas concept that squanders it on mostly being about how boring, crappy dudes are good actually Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Outlaw Prophet (2001)

A sci-fi movie that is incomprehensibly religious and religiously incomprehensible. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Carpool (1996)

From a hotel room in Wisconsin, we drag James into our muck and watch a Tom Arnold film that is extremely Tom Arnold Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Sexy Evil Genius (2013)

Buffy, BSG, and Lost collide in a bar with a Baldwin and what happens is, you know, fine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Battlefield Earth (2000)

It's taken a while but we finally have gotten to the movie that every bad movie podcast has to talk about eventually. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - The Astrologer (1976)

Another Astrologer? That's right, it's the other movie from 1975 with this name and probably the one we were supposed to watch initially. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - The Astrologer (1975)

We might have ended up watching the wrong The Astrologer from 1975 since there are two bad movies of that name from that year. This one is 90% dialogue! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Van Helsing (2004)

Wolverine fights the Duke from Moulin Rouge in a movie that sucks so bad and yet is a spectacle of absolute joy to watch. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Robin and the Dreamweavers (2000)

The maker of He-Man and Fat Albert decided to make an adult cartoon movie about fighting the personification of internet porn addiction as a pitch for a show that I can't imagine being sold to literally any television company. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Sex and the City 2 (2010)

Having never seen a full episode of the show, this movie is possibly the worst way to be introduced to the property. It's just rich white people complaining and being awful but not in a fun way like Arrested Development. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Roller Blade (1986)

From the guy that brought us Baby Ghost, comes a movie that is just about the same level of quality but way more nudity, knives, and n-roller skates. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - The Beastmaster (1982)

A bog standard barbarian plot that gets just enough spice from the animal telepathy stuff to be kind of worth watching Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Kraven the Hunter (2024)

We return to the theaters to complete our grim duty of bearing witness to the slow and tragic mutilation of everything Spider-Man related that Sony shoves into the grinder. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Ocean Drive Weekend (1985)

A listener's recently deceased dad worked on this movie but don't worry, they just did director of photography so they aren't fully to blame for this turd of a 60's nostalgia movie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Dragon Storm (2004)

Sci-Fi Channel trying to cash in on Reign of Fire of all things spent a million dollars on this with almost all of that going to the cost of dragon effects and pyrotechnics and none of it to lighting or sound equipment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Runaway Nightmare (1982)

This 70's movie that took so long to edit that it came out in the 80's has no redeeming factors. A comedy without humor. An exploitation film without anything risqué. Grainy sound and fuzzy images that serve no purpose. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue (1998)

Special guest Taylor Moore joins us to discuss an animated film that truly nobody asked for and that wastes an all star voice cast on the most direct-to-video sequel you could imagine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter CottonHell

This is a movie that almost certainly stemmed from finding a weird rabbit marionette and then "writing" a "script" to use it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Slotherhouse (2023)

A horror comedy that forgets it's supposed to be comedic until about the last 10 minutes of the movie. At least the sloth puppet is kinda fun. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - The Dirt Bike Kid (1985)

A kid buys a magic dirt bike that helps him save the local hot dog restaurant by doing things that have nothing to do with riding a dirt bike. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Soldier (1998)

I know I had seen this movie before but couldn't remember much and now having reviewed it for the show I know why. There is nothing to remember about this very boring movie about a a man that proves you're never to old to murder a bunch of people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Dracula 3000 (2004)

A vampire movie that is continually setting up interesting ideas and refusing to do anything with them because it needs that run time for sex jokes and weed references. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Bio-Dome (1996)

A movie that tries to be about two bumbling idiot heroes in the vein of Bill & Ted or Dude Where's My Car but has none of the charm, earnestness, or humor that make those work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Cool Cat Saves the Kids (2015)

This is the type of kid's movie that isn't just bad because it's low quality schlock but also because all the advice it's supposed to be giving to kids is actively detrimental. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Movie Mastery - Billy Jack (1971)

A movie that seems by all measures to be one thing ends up being something else entirely. While not exactly a masterpiece because some glaring issues, this might be one of the few 70's movies we've watched we didn't hate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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