Sort of In-Laws: 6 Anecdotes from Deborah Mitford's Unique Relationship with JFK

I recently rewatched some of the early episodes of The Crown on Netflix—in particular, the episode when the Kennedys visit England. I know this show, as most period pieces are, is heavily dramatized. Normally, I am totally unbothered by dramatization. However, I felt the episode with the Kennedys was just too much. In fact, it caused me to go on a small rant in the MBH subscriber chat to straighten out the facts. Now, here I am once again, inspired to write this article…

In the episode where President John F. Kennedy and First Lady Jackie Kennedy come to England for a state visit, the writers make it seem as if the couple are two people who have never ventured outside their town limits. They have them arrive and totally butcher their introductions when meeting the royal family. This is absolute nonsense. It would never have happened, as they would have been thoroughly briefed by both their own staff and the staff at Buckingham Palace.

Furthermore, the show completely ignored a well-known historical fact: JFK’s father, Joe Kennedy, was the U.S. Ambassador to the UK before WWII, and he brought his wife, Rose, and their nine children with them. The Kennedy family, children included, socialized heavily in high society, and Rose along with two of their daughters, Kathleen “Kick” and Rosemary, were even presented at court. Years later, even if JFK had not been given any specific advice about how to act around British royals and aristocrats, he almost certainly would have gotten it right because this was a world with which he was very familiar.

To go even further, his sister Kathleen actually became a member of the British aristocracy when she married William Cavendish, the Marquess of Hartington, who was heir to the Duke of Devonshire. While Kathleen was a favorite with everyone she met and was adored by the Devonshires, this marriage was something her parents were barely able to accept; the only member of her family to attend the wedding was her older brother, Joe Jr. While I will delve further into Billy and Kick’s story in this week’s extra audio, what I will say now is that, sadly, Billy was killed during WWII. A few years later, his young widow, Kick—who had stayed in England following his death—died in a plane crash. Because no children had come from their very short union, these tragedies meant that William’s younger brother, Andrew, and his wife, Deborah, were now next in line to become the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire.

If you have been a member of the MBH community for a while, it is no secret how much I adore Deborah, Duchess of Devonshire (born Deborah Mitford). One part of her life that I really haven’t touched on in my articles, however, is the unique relationship she had with JFK. The “sort of” in-laws remained close for the rest of JFK’s life, and he made sure to include the Devonshires in many of his life’s milestones. This meant that for events like his presidential inauguration, visits to the White House, and sadly, his funeral, the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire were treated as family and given front-row seats. Even after JFK’s assassination, Debo remained close to his brother, Robert F. Kennedy, and maintained a regular correspondence with him.

So, although this post was inspired by a storyline I think the writers of The Crown totally butchered, we have changed course. Instead, I want to highlight the incredibly sweet and somewhat unlikely relationship between JFK and his sort-of sister-in-law, Deborah, Duchess of Devonshire.

Highlights of The Devonshire’s Relationship with JFK:

1. They Knew Each Other as Young Adults: While his father was ambassador, JFK and his siblings spent plenty of time in London’s high society. He was actually in the same social circle as a young Deborah Mitford and her future husband, Andrew Cavendish. In her books, Deborah remarks that Jack always had something different about him. At a dance in 1938, her mother, Sydney Mitford (Lady Redesdale), said to one of her friends, “Mark my words, I would not be surprised if that young man becomes President of the United States of America.”

2. JFK Treated the Devonshires as Family: The Devonshires had front-row family seats to major milestones like JFK’s inauguration and his funeral. Deborah remarked specifically that on inauguration weekend, they sat in a box right next to the Kennedy family during a performance. She recalled feeling all the eyes of various Washington politicians and society members looking down at them, obviously wondering who they were—a curiosity that only grew as various members of the Kennedy family kept coming into the box to visit! The Devonshires also spent the rest of the inauguration with the family, traveling on their bus and sitting with them at the parade. At one point, the President asked the Duchess to come sit with him, which she said was a complete head-scratcher for the news networks, who had absolutely no idea why this Englishwoman was seated right next to the President.

3. A Presidential Visit to Chatsworth: When he was president, JFK asked if he might come to Chatsworth to visit his sister Kick’s grave. It was kept as a private visit, but as with anywhere the president goes, Deborah noted that their quiet village was crawling with Secret Service in the days leading up to Jack’s landing. She went on to write that the following day, she was talking to a village resident and asked if he was amazed by the president’s helicopter landing right in the village. The resident replied that he wasn’t at all, adding that the helicopter had simply scared away his hens!

4. Funny Moments: On another visit to Washington, Deborah was having dinner with the President and some of his friends. She wrote that when dinner was announced, she got up and started to walk out first, thinking that since she was the only woman, she should precede the men. The President stopped her and said, “No, not you. I go first, I’m head of state.” “Good heavens! So you are!” she replied.

5. Long-Distance Calls: The President would often call the Duchess with questions or just to chat—frequently at times that were convenient for him, but in the middle of the night for her. He even once accidentally got patched through to the Devonshire Arms Hotel! The Mitford sisters were notorious for not wanting to pay for long-distance calls, often hanging up so that the other person would have to call back and foot the bill. While visiting the White House, the President told Deborah to go ahead and give her sister in California (Jessica Mitford) a call. She dialed her up right from the Oval Office and gleefully reassured her sister that she was not, in fact, paying for the call!

6. A Continuing Family Relationship: The Devonshires, like the rest of the world, were devastated by the assassination of JFK, and they traveled to his funeral alongside Prince Philip. They were once again treated as members of the Kennedy family, traveling and sitting with them. The Duchess noted that after the death of Jack, who was her main correspondent within the family, she and Bobby (whom she always very much liked) began to write to one another more regularly. She even got him to raise $10,000 for the Queen’s Institute of District Nurses of Ireland, knowing he would be keen to help because of his Irish heritage. After Bobby’s assassination, she was unable to attend the funeral, but her husband, Andrew, went. The Kennedys continued their association with the Devonshires, and several of them, including Rose Kennedy, came to visit Chatsworth through the years.
   

I think it is truly wonderful that through two horrific tragedies, two families who easily could have fallen out of touch remained so close. Reading about JFK through the eyes of someone who knew him so personally gives a rare insight into the personality of a man the world feels it already knows. If you liked these little tidbits, I highly suggest you read some of the works of the late Deborah, Duchess of Devonshire, as she includes many more fascinating stories about the Kennedys and beyond. She was fortunate to have a front-row seat to the major historical events of the 20th century, and her stories deserve to be remembered.

Looking for more? Upgraded subscribers have access to this audio that details the relationship between Kick Kennedy andWilliam Cavendish, The Marquess of Hartington.

Why were they forbidden from marriage? Did the Kennedy’s disown her? Did Kick find love after being widowed at age 24? How did she meet her tragic end? Learn more here:

Thank you for being a part of this growing community!

Until Next Time,

McKenzie

Sources:

Wait for Me!: Memoirs by Deborah Mitford Duchess of Devonshire

All in One Basket: Nest Eggs by Deborah Devonshire

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