my hyperfixation is none of my business

When I’m interested in something, I tend to do a deep dive.

The thing about me is I always want to know everything. Blame it on being a Virgo, or a second child, or maybe it’s just the way my brain is wired. If I love a director, I’ll binge all their movies. If I’m into an author, I’m going to read everything they’ve written. Blank Check became my go-to podcast during the pandemic, and one of the things I loved it about it was that there was SUCH a deep backlist I could wade into.

It’s also very millennial of me (even though I think I’m *technically* that weird little micro generation in between Gen X and True Millennials? I am, at the very least, the oldest millennial - which I think should be the title of my eventual memoir. THE OLDEST MILLENNIAL - THE RISE AND FALL OF MORGAN MATSON.) But I thought this summed it up perfectly:

I grew up in a time when it felt like it WAS possible to know everything! Nick at Nite and I Love the 80s and best-of compilation CDs and re-runs and old movies on TV. At any rate, it wired my brain in this particular way. There are my normal deep dives (“normal” is really doing a lot of work in that sentence, huh?) but then there are a few that tip over into hyperfixation.

This is when I’m going beyond a deep dive. I’m going scuba diving. Down into the part of the ocean where it’s really cold and dark and you need those special big watches. (I have never been scuba diving; can you tell?)

These hyperfixations don’t happen that often, but when they do I usually don’t…ask questions. I have found that something in my unconscious knows why I’m suddenly so into whatever I’m into, and it’s really not my business. My brain has an itch it needs to scratch, and this seems to be taking care of things.

And sometimes I’ll figure out why, and sometimes I won’t. A few years ago, I basically became the director Rian Johnson’s biggest fan. I watched all the movies, I read the scripts, I listened to the commentaries, I listened to every podcast this nice-seeming man has ever recorded. I wasn’t sure why, really…until this year when I sold my upcoming mystery novel that was very much sparked by my Knives Out deep dives.

All of which to say, I’m suddenly consuming everything I can get my hands on that has to do with the Beatles.

Why?

I have no idea!!

I had always liked them, of course - I’m a human being with ears. (There’s a fake band in my Katie Finn books called Lenin and McCarthy.) But I was really more Emily in this exchange than Frank. (I think Frank is actually saying something very close to what a college boyfriend said to me once.)

This recent phase probably started with Yesterday, which I truly feel is an underrated movie. And then I watched Peter Jackson’s Get Back - the 8 hour process documentary that I couldn’t get enough of. And then I read this substack and then this book…and I was off to the races.

A friend asked me on Instagram (after I posted this stack of Beatles books) if this was for something or just for fun. And my answer was yes. It IS just for fun. And it might end up being an inspiration or a jumping off point for something down the road…I just don’t know. But I’m having fun.

I just watched the Beatles Anthology on Disney+, and now I’m watching this which is basically just Rick Rubin telling McCartney that he’s great. (I agree, Rick!) And I was delighted to find that one of my favorite music critics1 had written a Beatles book.

The nice thing is that I’m not going to run out of material any time soon. I’ve discovered a whole bunch of songs I’d breezed past (I’ve Just Seen A Face are you KIDDING ME) and that I’m a Paul girl for life, with renewed appreciation for Ringo. But the dynamics are so fascinating! And the songs are incredible! And the fits are so good! And and and….

Anyway! I’ll be over here, with lots of books to read and docs to watch and THIS to look forward to in…2028.

In the meantime, I’m having fun. I love having a random sidequest in my daily life. I love feeling like some part of my brain I’m not fully aware of has decided to do the driving for a moment. And I’m getting to listen to some of the best music ever, even if this WAS the reason my Spotify wrapped age was 78.

I hope you have a fab holiday!!

xoxo

MM