compassionately honoring resistance to exercise

I didn’t want to move my body this morning but I did it anyway.

I’d argue that I didn’t “force myself” to, either.

As my clock neared 7:15, class time, I felt a part of me rising up, a strong part that did not want to move. I could feel her digging her heels in, dreading the weight training I had planned.

When I say “move” I am referencing how we colloquially say “exercise”, “physical activity”, “working out”. Read more about that here:

Still lying in bed, I weighed my two options:

• honor my in-the-moment preference (today my preference was to definitely NOT move my body)

or

• honor my (plan and) preference to move my body regularly

From the get-go, honoring either of these choices would have been a good choice for me as they are both in line with my value system. Immediately, this mental orientation releases the pressure valve: both are morally equal. This helps me dig in with more honesty to figure out what choice is right for me. If it felt like movement was a morally superior choice, it would be hard to discern what the right-fit choice would be.

I also avoid strict weekly “goals” for my movement pattern For me, those would also make honoring my body’s cues harder. Let’s say I have a standard of: “I move X days per week”. What happens when I am one day short of my goal but on that one day my body is exhausted?

OK, so if I don’t have an external rule to follow and if I don’t “force” myself to move…how the heck did I make a choice to move my body when I didn’t want to?

Let’s slow down and review why I chose to move:

• I had been planning all week to take Kara’s live class on Range this morning (side note: Range is incredible and you can find a catalog of free classes here).

• I prioritize the live classes on purpose; when I take a recorded class, it is harder for my brain to dig into the class.

• The class was a weight training class; weight training is less frequent in my movement pattern but is very important for my health (mid-30s, wooo)

• I knew I didn’t have any other time I could fit movement into my day and I did feel a sense of movement being important today

• I had ok energy levels, my body felt able to move, and I had the time

AND there was a part of me coming up that was like: “NO, STAC”.

The no was clear but because my body felt good and my energy was ok, I decided I would take the class. (as I edited this essay, I previously had written “HELL NO” but a hell no would have been a clear as day stop sign - the intensity of the “no” today was softer…not a hell no).

Importantly, I did not force this part! I intended to take the class with permission for this resistant part to be around. (side note: there are many days in my life I choose movement is not the right fit and I sit on my couch in the morning reading a book!)

I knew that if I tried to banish the part of me that didn’t want to move, she would get stronger and I would end up, halfway through class, laying on my yoga mat, staring out the window or petting my cat. My intention here is not to label distracting myself as “bad”…I am being honest that ignoring her will result in her taking over! Instead, I am trying to work with my resistant part to allow me to live closer to one of my values.

I need to invite her along.

Here’s how I did that:

This was what sealed the deal for me. When I asked what I would do with my morning if I didn’t take class, I knew that I would end up getting pulled into scrolling on my phone, and frankly, that pissed me right off. It is totally against my values to mindlessly scroll so it helped encourage me to stick with my plan.

I absolutely adore Range! There is not a chance in hell this resistant part would have agreed to any other movement choice but a class on Range. I reminded myself: “You enjoy this. You find this fun! We can stop if we need to!”

I found myself periodically soft-shouting “I don’t want to do this!!!” and “UHG!!!” I exhaled loudly, I rolled my eyes, and I really let myself FEEL this part’s boredom and disinterest (to be clear, the class was great! This is no way a reflection of the class!). What’s funny is when I just let myself be present with the sense, the part relaxed for a few minutes and I could focus on the movement again. Then the feeling would come back and the cycle would repeat.

I wore comfortable, loose clothes. I opened a window. I pointed a fan directly at my body. I made a cup of tea to drink throughout. I used a lighter set of weights.

I floated between 0-70% effort today and I modified the movements when I needed to. (This part did instigate some distraction; I just noticed and pulled myself back). I mentioned my energy was “ok” so I let my exertion fall within that “ok” range.

At around minute 35, the class shifted in format to my favorite of Kara’s styles…a more intuitive, fluid movement style. But today, that resistant part’s soft “no” shifted to a “HELL NO”. Like I mentioned above, hell no is a stop sign. It is so intriguing to me to observe how things I absolutely LOVE become unapproachable depending on what parts of me are active. Anyway, I sent a little gratitude towards my screen and shut my laptop. This part and my body told me I was done, so I was done.

I believe we can move our bodies when we don’t want to (see above) without it being disordered. However, I encourage my clients to be really present with their intention, resistance, and anticipated outcomes to prevent overriding protective resistance. I don’t believe parts are always “right” when we feel that sense of “I don’t want to move” but I also don’t believe we should force ourselves to move our bodies if it doesn’t feel right to.

Shockingly, to summarize my views on the question: “Should I move my body when I am resistant to it?” is…it depends. It depends and you are the one to go inside and discover the nuance of your resistance.

Sometimes these resistant parts need our attention in order to:

• Gain permission to have a break

• Modify the type or intensity of movement

• Get a snack before movement to feel more energized

• Switch to movement that is more passive (walking or riding a bike rather than a dance class)

• Find a friend to be in community with

The goal is not to silence our resistance but to get to know the texture, the feeling. Sometimes resistant parts guide us to honoring rest, relaxation, or prioritize another well-being practice. Other times, we can tuck our resistance in our bicycle basket and take them along for the ride.