I don’t usually let people this far behind the curtain. I’m private by nature. Not mysterious. Not secretive. Just...private. So this letter in particular will only be accessible for 24 hours before being locked for paid membership viewing only. Do with this information as you please! lol. I hope this helps anyone who may be in a similar space, Enjoy! xoxo
There are parts of my life I don’t turn into content. Some things I process before I ever consider putting words around them. Some things I don’t share at all. And some things I’m still learning how to say without feeling like I’ve handed somebody the keys to a room in my house they weren’t invited into.
But this month is about the valley. And I can’t talk honestly about the valley without admitting that I have one too. There is a version of me who thought I’d be further by now. She has been with me for a long time. And babyyy...she had a PLAN.
I’m talking kindergarten-level confidence. She didn’t have a five-year plan. She had a whole damn cinematic universe. I used to think thirty-something would look different. I thought by this age certain things would just...be. The money would make sense. The career would make sense. The business would be where I imagined it. Love would have found me in the way I thought it would. Friendships would have survived every season. Life would look like the picture I had been carrying in my head since I was little. And because I was always the girl people put on a pedestal, I learned to expect a lot from myself. And, if I’m being completely honest...from life.
I was raised, shaped, and reinforced in a way that made me believe I should expect the best. So I did. I wasn’t taught to settle. I wasn’t encouraged to accept crumbs and call them cake. And I’m grateful for that. But nobody really talks about the other side of having high standards. Sometimes you can become so accustomed to excellence in your own internal world that you forget...
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