Given the passage of time and healing—how do you feel about your ex-affair partner?
They are out of your life for good.
Well, hello.
Adulterers have learned some hard-won lessons. Here are some of the replies.
He's a master of manipulation and lies, and just a terrible person. He's a danger to women, but he thinks he's pretty wonderful. I'm just glad his true colors showed sooner rather than later. I wish I could warn women to stay away from him and his alt accounts.
With all due respect (which is none), he’s a douchebag, and I hope he chokes on his own breath.
Oh, we would have never meshed in the real world. I knew that always. I think I realized he wasn’t as good at compartmentalizing as he thought he was. Definition of a guilt king after each meeting.
I couldn’t see myself going back to him or spending the rest of my life with him, which I’d once dreamed about. I just see him as deeply flawed.
Now I can see all of his lies very clearly. If someone was sure they wanted to be with you, they would.
I don’t resent him. I don’t regret it. He was genuinely good to me in the capacity he could be, and I was to him.
Still miss her a ton and still love her. Been about a year since we broke up. She didn’t want to break things off, but I did, and we had to. I hated breaking her heart and listening to her beg and cry like that. It got wayyyy too emotional than we originally agreed it would be.
Sometimes I still miss her; I’m glad it happened, and I don’t regret a thing.
I still love her and think about her every day. She is an amazing woman; I miss her. She made me feel complete. I honestly believe she was my soul mate, and I’ll never get her back.
Gratitude. An immense amount of gratitude to and for him. It didn't work out, but for that first year, it was AMAZING. He made me feel seen, chosen, loved, cared for, and just beautiful. I dont know if i miss him or how he made me feel. Maybe both.
He’s a lovely person and completely changed my life, so I can’t resent him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of whoever he ends up dating after me, but then I think about why I ended it and snap out of that mindset. I do wish him nothing but the best, always. If my life story were being written, the part about him and me would be my favorite part. That tells you just what kind of lover he was.
The comment that got me the most:
“I’ve given up ever thinking I’m going to be over him 100%. It’s been months now. If I keep very busy, I can forget he exists. If I’m in a good mood, I smile at the memories…
But most of the time, he’s still there, right at the front of my mind. I can practically feel his presence, and after all this time I’m just fucking sad, man. I wish I could hate him. I wish he would get out of my head. I wish I’d never logged on to Reddit that fateful night and responded to his ad.
But more often than not, I wish he’d just send me a “hello.”
I guess the fog hasn’t lifted yet.”
I’ve been there, fellow adulterer. Right there in your shoes. How I wished for more. How I wanted to be chosen. I realize now that wouldn’t have made a bit of difference…
I had to CHOOSE ME, after all the affairs were said and done. Not him choosing me. It was me picking myself and my well-being. I think I finally learned this lesson. I stood up for myself, and I found my voice.
Tell me your stories in the comments.
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