April 2nd, 2024 my middle grade debut, Cruzita and the Mariacheros, entered the world and I expected some grand reveal from the universe. Something along the lines of massive sales, a local news report, or a movie deal. Actually, I have yet to find a Hallmark movie that accurately captures what release day is actually like, but the screenwriter in me envisioned that, at the very least, I would at least find the love of my life.
Spoilers: I’m still single.
There were no phone calls or DMs from suitors begging for my hand. Instead, there was a plethora of congratulations from my writerly colleagues. Friends like Sylvia Liu and Jennifer Torres expressed their heartfelt wishes to me with kind emails. A few buddies texted me saying they had ordered my book and couldn’t wait to read it and pass it along to their kids. I sniveled at the well wishes, then fitted myself with Cruzita inspired braids. My sister accompanied me to Disneyland to get away from the noise of social media. I refused to stay glued to my phone. Magic happens when you least expect it. For an entire afternoon, I gorged on strawberry churros and took in the sun as I sat on Main Street waiting for a parade. Nothing would prevent me from celebrating 4 years of hard work, tears, and doubt.
Except, in a way, running away from social media did prevent me from spreading my joy. It wasn’t until friend and author, Isi Hendrix, text me asking why I hadn’t created a “book birthday post” that I realized I needed to be somewhat vocal about the birth of my creation. Standing in the line for Thunder Mountain, I produced a very quick celebratory post and proceeded to scream “look at the goat,” moments later on a descent down a man-made mountain. Cruzita would have been proud, I think. After all, her enthusiasm for theme parks is what got us here in the first place.
On the other side of town, Mom stubbornly drove to Barnes & Noble, even though I told her my book would not be there. She came home disappointed. Her disappointment ruptured me a little bit. Would not seeing my book in one of the most famous bookstores in America make this life event less real?
At the end of the day, the fact of the matter was is on April 2nd, 2024, I woke up an author. I went to Disneyland an author, and I went to bed that night an author. Sure, maybe no one outside of the folks who had been cheering me on for years would know or care, but I couldn’t let myself believe that my work was less important. NYT Bestseller or not, I produced a piece of my heart for all of those willing to pick up, to read and fall in love with.
Debut day proved to be quiet. But the weekend came, and on April 6th friends, colleagues, neighbors and family filled Tía Chucha’s, the San Fernando Valley’s Cultural Center and Bookstore for my debut release party. Now, I hadn’t thrown a party this grand since I turned 16 because for me parties are usually spent wondering who will show up and if I have too much food. Not that I wouldn’t want to eat all of the chilindrinas from Las Palmas Bakery, but I was floored by the sheer amount of support I received. The entire room filled with the sounds of excited chatter and café de olla.
Even my dog, Emme came, and honestly, it was easily one of the greatest nights of my career. The start of it all.
Would being an author always feel this way?
In May, Jesenia and I took Cruzita’s unofficial book tour to Long Beach at Casita Bookstore. There I met Antonette, the store’s owner and founder. Not only did she provide pan and a cozy space to talk about books, but she became a champion of my work. It was because of her network of Long Beach schools that Cruzita and I got to inspire a class of the future Female Leadership Classroom at Jefferson Leadership Academy.
By June, I was booked for a few events, including ALA in San Diego and Pico Branch Library’s 10th Anniversary. It was a wonderful surprise to hear from librarians and to work so closely with them to put on events and have them help me put my book into their classrooms.
That same month, Cruzita was released as an audiobook, voiced by the talented EJ Lavery. While there was an event lag, Cruzita, however, was busy. She was being read by LAUSD students for a summer reading program, and I was working on finding myself as a singer/songwriter and working through heartbreak. Producing songs on Off the Hinge was a cathartic way to rest my author brain and look inward, to consider what more I wanted from my creative career. That is, if I would have one beyond my first book. Much like an artist dreading to be a one-hit wonder, I worried this might also be my fate.
I held onto the hope that on a drive back from Casita’s an exit sign with the name Alondra came into view. The name of my little eighth grade emo guitar hero. She must have been a manifestation of magic because by September, I officially entered my sophomore author era with the announcement of Choir Grrrl, my second middle grade novel.
That summer, I vowed to continuously say yes to anything––big or small. These little ventures were proving to be big steps to building my own legacy. I reached out to more local bookstores and connected with the magnificent Stephanie at Mija Books. By October, I found myself booked again for a library event in Carlsbad, and then in November, Literacy Night at Orange County Educational Arts Academy thanks to the Mija Books’ book fair. There, I met more wonderful authors, including Pura Belpré award winner, Ernesto Cisneros, author of Efrén Divided.
I saw the golden seal on his book and imagined what it would be like if Cruzita had her own seal. But I knew my book was barely visible to the public, or at least, that was my perception of it.
In December, I was a month away from releasing my second EP and feeling, for the most part, on top of the world. I still wasn’t getting stopped in the street by adoring fans looking for selfies, and no, no one was asking whether or not I wanted to build Encore Island, the fictional theme park I made up in Cruzita, next to Dollywood (I can’t compete) in Nashville. The universe was still working her quiet magic in the background.
I met author friend Clare Osongco for ramen on a gray Saturday in January, the night before the ALA Youth Media Awards. We talked about the tension that award weekend tends to bring, especially to debuts. As artists, we put so much pressure on our first book, holding tight to the belief that if we don’t make it on day one with book one, we’ll never make it all.
In my heart of hearts, I knew there was no way I would a win Pura Belpré knowing how many wonderful Latine books are out there. Besides, despite that Cruzita’s entire plight is to find her culture, and through writing her journey, I finally was able to reconnect to mine in a way I couldn’t in my own childhood, I still felt we were not Mexican enough. Much like release day, I put my phone away on Sunday morning.
But it kept ringing from a number I didn’t recognize. Twice, maybe, I ignored it. Until it appeared again on my car’s dash screen.
A number I didn’t recognize. Award weekend.
It was in fact, the call I had dreamt about. Cruzita was named a Pura Belpré Honor Book. I wrote an award winning book.
I. Wrote. An. Award-winning. Book.
Tears, snot, more tears, laughter. A quiet release day turned into the most magnificent year. And it still isn’t over.
Since that morning in January, Cruzita has earned many titles, including:
ALA Notable Children's Book, Winner, 2025
Southwest Books of the Year, Winner, 2025
Land of Enchantment Book Award Lizard Reading List Nominee, Nominated, 2025
CYBILS Award Nominee, Nominated, 2024
Since Cruzita’s inception, I’ve aspired to write the truest books to my human experience as I can. Whether or not those books will be award winners is hard to tell. The thing is, I can’t expect even one year to determine a lifetime’s worth of experiences, connections, and accolades.
As artists, we have to strive for giving the best of ourselves without the noise of the outside. The universe will work her magic if you believe in the signs and signals she sends you.
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