Always in a Busy Season

I’m in what I would call a “busy season.”

But if you ask my wife, she would say, “He’s always in a busy season.”

And it’s true. My default is busy. I have a hard time NOT being busy. But this year is particularly busy finishing post-production and release on one feature while kicking off production on another.

So I thought I’d dive into the realities of that for a little bit.

First, a quick rundown of what’s happening with Mirror Box this summer.

Then, some thoughts on work, life, purpose, and whether “work/life balance” is even a thing.

• First of all, GARGANTUAN IS DONE!!! Our practical FX kaiju adventure movie is locked in, we have a final file, and we just sent it to the theater for our cast & crew premiere on August 5 in Atlanta. Thanks to our amazing post team: Mason Brown, Wil Wright, and the amazing team at Big Slate Media, and of course, our tireless director/editor, Jordan Noel, for seeing it across the finish line.

• I’m also handling crowdfunding rewards from last fall (printing merch, setting up Zoom calls, delivering files, making sure everyone was thanked in the end credits, etc).

• Next up for the film, we’ve already entered a dozen festivals and hoping to have our World Premiere in the fall. Then release, tour, merch, and distribution plans taking us through next summer!

If that wasn’t enough, we’ve also got ANOTHER MOVIE.

• Before We Were Monsters starts shooting on August 14! I’m so thrilled to be working with this team, but time is quickly slipping away from us as we wrangle scheduling, locations, cast, crew, insurance, rentals, finalizing funding, and the million other things a producer has to do on an indie film.

• We’ve also got a live staged reading event on August 12 in Atlanta where you can see the cast perform the film TWO DAYS BEFORE WE SHOOT. It’s going to be a really cool experience where you can meet the cast and see the script brought to life. Get tickets HERE. It’s free!

• Oh, and Monsters ALSO has a crowdfunding campaign from this spring that we have to pull together deliverables for.

If that sounds like a lot, that’s only covering my non-day-job SIDE GIG.

• I also have a son who is in town from college, a wife who I love spending time with, friendships I want to prioritize, a house that needs upkeep (just bought a chainsaw!), and a freelance day job that keeps me very busy and can demand my time and attention with very little warning.

When people see all the stuff I’m doing, they often ask (I’m not sure they’re really looking for an answer):

HOW DO YOU DO IT ALL??

I remember reading Shonda Rhimes’ wonderful book, The Year of Yes. And in it, she said something that really stuck with me. As a single mom and television showrunner, people often asked her about work/life balance. And she said (I’m paraphrasing):

“Work/life balance doesn’t exist. Focusing on one thing always requires sacrificing another.”

If I prioritize work, I sacrifice home life. If I prioritize home life, I sacrifice work.

I had a kid at 25, so I was a young single father for much of my son’s life. In those years, he was my top priority. My writing and filmmaking took a back seat to him, because he required more attention. There was no balance. There was a clear sacrifice of career for family.

As I’ve gotten older and my son has become more self-sufficient (my wife and I are now young empty nesters), I’ve been able to put more effort behind my filmmaking, and it’s starting to build some real momentum.

But still, if I want to get a movie off the ground, it requires sacrifice. Of family, of personal health, of alone time.

There is no work/life balance.

There is only a work/life battle.

And, you guys, sometimes it feels like both sides are losing.

I wake up every morning and I ask, “What needs my attention right now?” I have a running list of a million things, and for about 10 hours every day I just check boxes.

And I’m missing out on some very important parts of my life: reading, running, and the very important creative task of doing nothing.

So, with that in mind, I’m going to take a minute here to address myself:

Hudson. Hey dummy. Listen up. It’s okay to close the laptop. It’s okay if items on your to-do list remain unchecked. And if you don’t take time for yourself and your loved ones, there won’t be a Hudson to create, that creative tank will remain empty, and there won’t be loved ones to celebrate with. Movies are not your purpose. People are. Living is. Read that book. Go on that date. Enjoy nature. Plan that guys’ night. Meditate. Learn how a chainsaw works. You are still valuable even when you don’t accomplish anything.

Okay, other Hudson, that sounds nice. It looks good in a blog or self-help book. It would make a good theme for an Adam Sandler movie. But if I’m honest with myself… I don’t actually believe it.

Because I LOVE making movies. It does feel like my purpose. It does make me feel valuable. There’s no feeling like making something out of nothing. To take an idea in your head and pull together money and resources and talented collaborators and actually make the thing! It’s like nothing I’ve experienced in my life, and it’s addicting!

Now, I’m not one of these artists who is willing to “sacrifice everything to be great.” I dunno if you’ve seen Jiro Dreams of Sushi, but it’s a great exploration of someone who sacrificed almost everything to become the best in the world, and succeeded, but ended up with a life I don’t particularly envy. I don’t even need to be great! I just need to do the thing. It’s the act of creating that makes me feel valuable, not the results. Not how the world sees me.

So yeah, I probably don’t get as much exercise as I should. I don’t read as much as I want. I don’t get out in nature enough. I wish I had more time for friends and family, but also making movies is how I connect with some of my closest friends. We don’t hang out, we make art together. I remember reading someone describe Tom Cruise this way: “He doesn’t have friends. He has collaborators.” And I get it. Making movies provides an opportunity for deep connection.

So I know all of this sounds contradictory and messy and not exactly inspiring, but that’s kinda what life is, right? We’re all just finding our way. Taking one step at a time. Navigating priorities and busy seasons and just trying to get through the day feeling like we’re here for a reason.

Maybe the goal isn’t balance. Maybe it isn’t even battling. Maybe it’s that ALL THESE THINGS make up a life. No one thing defines me.

And every day I get to wake up and choose how I spend it.