The Eye-Roll Years

40% of pet owners say their pet is (blank).

I’ll have your answer coming up.

Gretchen teaches piano to kids between 4 and 14. How she does it, I’ll never know. I’ve learned to leave the house for those three hours every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Nothing against other people’s kids, but . . . well, you know.

Yesterday she told me that a couple of the students she’s taught since they were little tykes are now turning 12. And there’s been a distinct change in their personalities.

Any parent who’s had an adolescent in their household knows this change. These two little girls, who used to be sweet, fun, rays of sunshine, are suddenly taking on a sullen air and offering up a steady diet of eye rolls.

But Gretch noticed that they really only do it when their friends are around. Alone, they’re still rather sweet. In packs, they’re not.

We laughed about this, because it’s this way for 95% of kids. I like to joke that our kids are delightful until about age 12, then they’re not nearly as much fun for about 8 to 10 years. Then, once they’ve got the middle school/high school nonsense fully out of their system, they go back to being fun to hang out with again.

We just have to struggle through their “too cool for school” stage of life—those years when we’re stupid and they know everything—and then we like each other again.

My son may not have been horrible during that stretch, but he wasn’t exactly the same kid, either. Today? He’s an absolute joy to hang with.

Of course, I look back at how I acted during those years, and I’m surprised I didn’t come home to find all my stuff boxed up in the front yard.

Gretch may have said it best: “You’re a kid. What do you need with an ego?”

And yet, it’s just a temporary stage. She’s experienced it plenty during her decades as a piano instructor. The kids just get . . . off-key.

Sorry.

But they almost always come back. Sullen at 12, and somewhere down the road, sitting across from you again like the person you missed.

They say their pet is what?

Psychic

Should’ve asked your dog for the answer.

I have kids of my own. You don't even really exist. You're an amalgam.