Dear becomer,
Becoming is not nearly as challenging as we make it to be. Or rather it shouldn’t be.
The most difficult part of that journey is not letting go of our comfort zone or confronting our inner thoughts like we were told.
The hardest part is the loneliness that comes with it all.
Most of us started this journey because we believed there had to be more to us than the version we knew. We have so much untouched potential, so much unknown parts of ourselves, so much unexplored versions of us!
So we step into this new reality without even knowing what we’ve gotten ourselves into.
We started with all the motivation and willpower in the world, but after a few months, we realized a few things that no one prepared us for:
The process will be more confusing than it will be empowering
It is not nearly as aesthetic as the cute Pinterest boards we created
And it’s the loneliest thing we’ll probably ever go through
We thought growth would be exciting,
We thought we’d wake up everyday motivated,
We thought seeing progress would give us certainty.
But instead,
The more work we put in, the more doubt and confusion we felt.
We expected a “before and after” glow-up, but we got:
Before
↓
Mess
↓
Confusion
↓
Growth
↓
Grief
↓
Relapse
↓
Hope
↓
Doubt
↓
Tiny progress
↓
Repeat
Truth is those chaotic parts are not entertaining, that’s why they usually get edited out of success stories. Living us becomers thinking we are failing at growth, especially in our twenties.
But really, there is no such thing! Everyone can witness and celebrate the person you’ve become but very few people know the hardships that got you there.
What I’ve realized in my time on this journey is that the in-between is the cocoon part of the metamorphosis. It is this dark and uncomfortable phase where the transformation takes place.
The problem is that we are so obsessed with becoming someone new that we neglect to ask who we are choosing to be today.
We are so focused on who we want to be on the other side of the cocoon that we forget who we are inside of it.
And guess what? Who we are inside is what determines who we become outside.
Because your future self isn’t built one miraculous morning.
Your future self is built by the person you choose to be every ordinary Tuesday.
So becomer, tell me,
while you’re becoming, who are you?
While you are looking for the job, who are you?
While you are healing, who are you?
While you are figuring things out, who are you?
Because life can make you feel completely powerless sometimes, like a movie with no main character.
It may decide where you live, what opportunities disappear, who you loose, what plan fails.
But you know what life can’t decide?
Who you are when it happens!
YOU CAN DECIDE to be yourself
YOU CAN DECIDE to be kinder to yourself and others
YOU CAN DECIDE to be disciplined and consistent
YOU CAN DECIDE to be creative, and have fun, and learn new things…
YOU CAN DECIDE to slow down and live in the moment.
Whether you become those things is still yours.
That’s your power!
I was in the middle of this bazard, when I started my substack 9 months ago after moving to a new country and starting over, then loosing my job and having life strip away everything I thought made me somebody. I was feeling invisible, like no one could see beneath the forced smiles, like I was the only one going through this.
That’s when I began writing about it. And to my surprise, people could relate!
For the first time in years, I was not crazy to feel broken, I wasn’t alone in the middle, I felt seen.
And that’s when it came to me:
Imagine if people learning emotional regulation had partners.
Imagine if people building discipline had teammates.
Imagine if people rebuilding confidence had cheerleaders.
Imagine if people healing from trauma had had people who understood.
Imagine if becoming looked a little less like isolation…
and a little more like community.
That’s why, over the past few months, I’ve been quietly building the kind of room I wish someone had invited me into when I started this journey.
A room where nobody pretends to have everything figured out.
Where progress matters more than perfection.
Where accountability feels like encouragement instead of shame.
Where becoming is something we do together.
Because maybe growth doesn’t have to be lonely to be meaningful.
If you realize you’ve been becoming alone, there’s a good chance someone close to you is doing it alone too. Send it to them. This might be where real growth begins.
The process of becoming required to be honest about who we are now, to be clear on who we want to be, and to build a lifestyle that progressively shortens the gap between the two.
And the truth is, we becomers spend most of the in-between focusing on who we are becoming and not enough on what identity are we starting from.
So while you’re In The Meantime…
Who are you choosing to be today?
Not 5 years from now.
Today
Or here’s an even better questions,
Who are you becoming with?
Sometimes the difference between giving up and becoming isn’t more discipline,
It’s finding people who remind you to keep going.
And maybe that’s what the middle was for all along.
Because sometimes growth begins simply by finding people who are becoming too.
Until next time,
Be.
Build.
Become.
— Miche💌
In The Meantime is more than a community—it’s a place to grow alongside people who understand what it feels like to be in the middle of becoming. If you’re somewhere between who you were and who you’re meant to become, this space was built for you! Join the founding becomers list and help us build something meaningful from the very beginning.
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Hit the subscribe button and Let’s grow together—messy, imperfect, but still moving forward.
— Miche 💌
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