Who Says?

Who says we have to glorify

those in power?

Who says we have to dumb things down

so others don’t feel left out?

Who says we have to measure success in dollars?

Who says we have to have money

to be rich?

Who says having empathy

is a weakness?

Who says artists have to paint pretty pictures

to be valued?

Who says we have to like something

because it’s trending?

Who says we have to toe a line

or risk falling off?

Who says we have to smile

while everything around us is falling apart?

Who says we have to act our age

and wear age appropriate clothing?

Who says we have to be grateful to live in a free country

when many of us do not feel free?

Who says we have to do things

because of tradition?

Who says we have to look the other way

because we’re white?

Who says we have to practice religion

or risk a hellscape?

Who says there is a hell anyway?

Who says we have to listen

while those in charge

talk out of all sides of their mouths?

Who says our female bodies are

not our own?

Who says we can’t rock the boat?

Who says creativity is a luxury

when it’s what humanizes us?

Who says we have little power

because we are women?

You know what I say to Who Says,

fuck you.

That is pretty much how I have been feeling lately. My head is imploding, and my focus is crap. As someone who thrives on absorbing the environment around me to feel alive, I’m starting to think that diminishing that need and going into hiding might be best for my overall health.

The spirit needs rejuvenating, and it cannot happen when it is being struck by figuratively but psychologically destructive lightning bolts a thousand times a day.

Throughout history, there have always been horrible people who commit horrible acts. Now is not any different. With all the atrocious and unlawful behaviors that are currently in play, if you are not feeling rage, well, I am sorry to say, you’re dead to me.

My daughter was talking with her psychiatrist recently who asked if she was feeling any level of rage lately. My daughter answered with a question: “Well, what is an acceptable level of rage?” Such a great question, and of course, who says what is acceptable?

There is a certain amount of rage that’s necessary to make sure an individual is living in reality and not just taking up space like some inanimate object. I have felt various levels of rage my whole life. Not a destructive rage, but more like a fire in my belly with regard to the injustices and irresponsible people who roam around the planet, acting as if they run the show or, worse yet, that they don’t care about anyone but themselves.

Know anyone like that? We all do, and they are literally ruining everything good about the lives we have been trying to live for, well… centuries.

The rage I feel is what fuels the actions I take every damn day. Whether it be on the canvas, in the studio, at the gym, protesting in the street, donating items for the houseless, greeting people politely even if you’re in a mood, honking when someone is driving like an idiot, signing petitions, or writing letters to Congress (a daily task these days), these are just a few examples.

I don’t consider my rage a burden; it’s part of the life I have chosen.

Lately, I have been losing sleep over it. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night, usually to go to the bathroom, but when I lie back down, my mind starts to spin that fiery, anger wheel. I believe this is where part of my inability to focus is playing out. Not enough good sleep, and certainly not enough deep sleep, to clear the toxins out of my system.

Those toxins seem to be a constant barrage of total and utter nonsense and stupidity that is infiltrating our internal and external environment a thousand times a day. No one can withstand that kind of beating without ramifications. Which is the point as many of us have come to realize.

So we continue on resisting, persisting, losing sleep, questioning those who say this or that because they say so and they’re the boss of us. Such BS.

As we all know, there is no playbook for life; every day brings new and unknown challenges. What people say you should do is not always the path you must take. Especially if their reasoning is based on outdated, sexist, narcissistic, patriarchal, racist, gaslighting logic.

Have the courage to think on your own and do what is best for you and those you care about.

I have recently been contemplating researching CBD gummies for sleep. But the idea goes against my mantra of allowing my body to function and heal naturally without drugs or chemicals. I don’t even like to take ibuprofen for head or joint aches. I value good sleep and want to regain my focus. So I am in search of solutions. I welcome any advice.

The jury is still out on both the gummies and going into hiding. I am taking a trip overseas soon, so we’ll see if that rejuvenates my body and my brain. Getting out of this hellacious bubble will most likely offer some perspective because traveling anywhere usually does the trick.

I appreciate you reading and am only slightly apologetic for my language.

Artwork Image: Emotional Graffiti is a process painting which started with written text on the canvas. What followed were the mark making responses to those words. Eventually I was able to bring the piece to a place where I resolved, on some levels, what I was holding in and get to a place where I could breathe. That is my hope for life outside of the studio.

Michelle

Michelle Lindblom Studio